[chasedude]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Dear Greatest Fans in the NFL:

Those balls are specially hand selected by the National Football League, and are the property of the Kansas City Chiefs, even if they leave the field of play. $90 footballs are valuable, and if left to wander the stands, could become a dangerous projectile and cause injury to one (or more) of our valued season ticket holders.

If a fan refuses to return the ball when asked by security personnel, that fan is escorted to our fan friendly safety and security detention and interview facility deep in the bowels of Arrowhead, right below the steam and sewer pipes which spider web below the playing surface.

Non season ticket holders or visiting fans are water boarded, beaten unconscious and dumped somewhere along Manchester Trafficway.

Season ticket holders are given the opportunity to return the ball, and renew their season tickets. Otherwise, they receive the same treatment as non season ticket holders.

You can purchase official NFL licensed footballs at many popular sporting good and department stores. I suggest you buy one for each child, relative and friend.

You are, and continue to be, the best fans in the NFL.

Your Pal,
Carl "Delano" Peterson
LTGMIPS

Is this the type of Karma Carl is talking about? Cause he's getting some bad Karma here