[Rain Man]

Here's a semi-interesting related story. It wasn't about a firing, but rather a project contract. It happened to me recently, though I'll use WWII names, dates, and tasks to protect identities.

I had a client who was very nice, but very disorganized. We'll call him Roosevelt. The whole organization Roosevelt works for is highly dysfunctional and has a lot of trouble making decisions, which doesn't help. However, it's a well-meaning and generally ethical group. We'll call that organization America.

In March of 1943, Roosevelt called me. America wanted a very large project, which made me nervous since they don't work very efficiently. Their goal was to invade France, and their deadline to complete the project was three months. We were supposed to hit French turf in July of 1943.

11 months after we started, they finally approved the invasion plan after several stops and starts. At times, the plan abruptly changed to an invasion of Crete, or a new rocketry program, or a plan to assassinate Mao Tse Tung. However, it would always eventually come back to invading France.

At that point, it was February of 1944, and I said, "We've got a plan, but it's now or never time. I've got to build and transport the army. That's very expensive. If I move forward with the next step, there's no going back. We have to invade France. Are you signing off to do that?" After another month or two of decision time, Roosevelt said, "Yes. 100% go. Churchill is on board, Stalin is on board, Congress is on board, it's a go."

I confirmed again. "Not 99%? 100%? Because it has to be 100%." (This involved a Ferrari-level expenditure of funds, so I was not playing any games with them.) "Yes," Roosevelt said. "Go. But one thing. Start the invasion on June 6, so we can record it in our new fiscal year."

Deal. So I get everything in place, assemble an army, ship them to England, train them, and run recon flights over Germany in April and May, which I share with Roosevelt. All looks good.

On June 5, 1944, I load the army into the boats and send a quick telegram/e-mail to Roosevelt telling them that the invasion is a go.

On June 6th, as I wave goodbye to the landing ships steaming out of Dover, I get a telegram/e-mail back. It says, "Uh....we decided not to do the project. Go ahead and shut it down."

I send a telegram/e-mail back. "SayWA?"

I get another telegram/e-mail as the ships sail over the horizon. "Yeah, the project is off. Thanks for understanding."

Now...seriously, I have incurred major, major financial commitments by this point. I have the largest army ever assembled chugging across the English Channel.

I send an e-mail back. "Dude, you have already invaded France. We can't stop. If you want me to withdraw, I can do it, but either way, you're paying for an invasion of France."

Roosevelt tells me to just keep my troops in the middle of the Channel, and there are emergency meetings of Congress (the Board of Directors) and the entire Allied command.

Now Congress steps in, and I get called in for a special hearing. "Why are you invading France? You weren't supposed to invade France."

I wave telegrams in front of them. "Roosevelt authorized it. Roosevelt gave me orders. I have a contract. I was given an invasion date. I've been sending recon reports."

At that point, things get weird. I go back to England, and I'm incurring thousands of dollars a day in costs as boats and troops sit off France doing nothing. Tons of money is going up into the atmosphere in diesel fuel and K-rations and comfort women. No one will tell me why Congress wants the invasion canceled, or what's going to happen.

Two days later, I get a call from Congress. "Invade France. Go for it."

I unleash the troops again, but without a whole lot of confidence now. The troops themselves are none too happy, either, since they've been cramped in landing boats for days. But hey, it was the only reasonable decision.

Now, I happen to know somebody who knows somebody who knows one of the Congressmen. I get a call from the Congressman.

"You wanna know what really happened?" he says.

"Yeah."

"Congress told Roosevelt to stop the project in May of 1944. In our meetings this week, he confessed that he forgot to tell you."

Bottom line, then. This client canceled my contract at a point that was a little too late, and where they were going to eat expenses that were the equivalent of maybe a Ford Explorer. They knew that and accepted it. But NOBODY TOLD ME. By the time the project was underway, they were obligated to Ferrari-level expenses. They tried to figure out a way out of it, but had no escape route. I had already incurred the major expenses under my contract, so they quickly decided that they might as well do the project since they were paying for it either way. Bottom line, my client forgot to "fire" me, so I kept the project.

I'm just very fortunate that the company is ethical and well-meaning, despite their dysfunctions. Otherwise, I would've been royally screwed and would've had to spend a lot of money on lawyers.