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I'm debating my plan for the return trip. I'm considering the following options for the people who will doubtless do the same thing then.
1. If United won't enforce their own rules, I'll tell each of the people that I "represent United Airlines" and that if they would like to buy an instant upgrade I'd be glad to sell them one. If they pay me $29 each, fine, and apparently the stewardess won't intervene.
2. I'll go sit in the middle seat right next to them and hum "Oh, Susanna" the entire flight.
3. I'll pick one of them, follow them to their car at a dark spot at DIA, and stab them to death. Then I'll write in blood on their windshield, "Next time, pay the $29."
I kind of like Option 1. It's not like United is going to stop me, right? If I can get payment from 10 people, my trip is free.
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Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
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