I'll never forget the first year that I worked at Radio Shack in college. This asshole comes in and wants a checkbook calculator. Well in spite of the absolutely idiotic nature of such a request, we actually do have such a product, since the one who sucks the penis can neither use internet banking nor can he perform the complex procedure of subtraction on paper.
He starts giving my coworker a hard time about the one that we do have because it's the last one that we've got left. He goes back and gets a box for it, boxes it up, and starts to ring it out.
Of course, the asshole is bitching the whole time about how long it's taking him to find a fucking 6"x1" box in the back room, and then when he comes back, the guy pays with a check. Well, my coworker asks for ID,
"I'm not giving you my fucking ID."
My coworker calmly says that he has to have to it process a check
"Bullshit, no you don't."
Coworker replies that if he'd like to he can pay w/ cash or a card
"No, I'm writing a goddamned check"
Sir, I'm gonna have to have your license number and see a photo ID
"No, you're fucking not"
At this point, I snap, grab the loose check, rip it up, and hand him the pieces.
I told him "You're right, we don't have to see your ID. Now get the fuck out, the door is that way --->"
He walks off, and as he left the store he said "I was just joking around"
I swear to sweet Christ, if I ever saw that guy again, I'd chop his ass up with a chainsaw just to hear the harmony of the metal teeth whirring through his flesh and chipping his bones.