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i find that cracking a poop joke is a good way to diffuse the situation...
saying something like, "dude. i really ****ed up your toilet... i mean... that was a monster poop. my bad." seems to work.
and on a side note. if you need to fart and there are a lot of people around... do this:
1. lift your leg nonchalantly
2. make it as loud as you can
3. put a very puzzled look on your face
4. then calmly ask, "did the mice get motorcycles?"
you'd be surprised on how well that works
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