Originally Posted by Ari Chi3fs
Trey Hillman: Thanks for joining me today. Let's get started.
jarret223: Trey, what are your expectations for this upcoming season?
Hillman: I don't expect much from this team. We'll suck AGAIN!
cliperchic: I'm just wondering if you will be doing a new CD to follow up the Christmas CD released in Japan.
Hillman: I don't care to talk about any ****in CD!
gerg76: Good afternoon. It's great to get a chance to talk to you. As a fan, I truly appreciate the value you place on baseball fundamentals. Do you feel that your passion for playing the game the right way is sinking in with the younger guys on the team?
Hillman: What ! With this bunch, all they want to do is get drunk !
canes2299: Hi, Trey, great job managing this season. I've been watching the Division Series, and the announcers have been praising Kansas City for the future. Do you think in five years or less, we could be the next Tampa Bay?
Hillman: You've got to be ****in kidding me!
royalrolly: I am from New Jersey, and have been a loyal Royals fan since 1984. I like the progress you have made with this team, and I believe in you and [general manager] Dayton Moore. Are you going to add another solid starting pitcher behind [Zack] Greinke and [Gil] Meche?
Hillman: No. Two pitchers is enough. Light up a bowl!
gerg76: Can you tell us the top two or three areas that you focus on to prep for Spring Training?
Hillman: I was thinking about cheerleaders. Why don't we have cheerleaders in Baseball. That, and I'm going to make internet porn available to all the players.
kilsey: What do you think of Ryan Shealy's late-season performance? Do you think he's ready to come up to the Major League level full-time?
Hillman: Well, If he does pan out, we'll probably just trade him off to a contender. But he does get the babes!
Slayor09: What was your biggest challenge managing your first season in the big leagues?
Hillman: Coming to work sober.
jdmasta289: What are your realistic expectations and goals for the 2009 Royals squad?
Hillman: If we can win more games than the Chiefs I'll call it a successful season. Me and Carl Peterson have a bet. If I win more games than his Chiefs I get to have a threesome with him and Herm!
gerlach: Good afternoon, Trey. You finished 18-8 to close out the season. Do you believe you can build off that success for next year?
Hillman: Not really. First of all, nobody in Kansas City gives a **** about winning. Just internet porn!
jarret223: What's the latest on Luke Hudson? Will he play sometime next season?
Hillman: How the **** would I know! Thats a year from now. Hell, he could get Aids or something between now and then.
cliperchic: Do you still consider yourself a "players'" manager, or have your views on that changed?
Hillman: You calling me ghey , or what?
labsorhors: Did you watch the American League Division Series games, and if so, what was your take?
Hillman: I would have watched but I was busy washing my truck. It's about hunting season you know!
gerg76: Aside from the Winter Meetings, how are you spending your offseason?
Hillman: Well, when I'm not watching internet pron I'll just be hanging out with the guys, you know, not doing much of nothin, just trying to stay sober, as much as possible. Sometimes.
canes2299: If you were MLB Commissioner for a day, what you would change about the game?
Hillman: First of all I would make the bases farther apart. That should slow down the other teams scoring as well as allowing our catcher to throw out more base runners trying to steal 2nd and 3rd and 1st and home plate.
Next I would put obstacles in the outfield to make the game more interesting, you know like, quik sand, railroad tracks, trees. And the outfielders could wear helments.
roundrobin: Thank you for taking on the challenge of bringing the Royals back to a contending team. Knowing we're not there yet, what do you see as our three greatest needs and, more important, do you see any way of fulfilling those needs from within the organization?
Hillman: Well, our farm team is a joke, so I would say we're going to have to clean house this off season and try to make a trade with Boston for all their players.
royalrolly: Is anything going to be done to improve the amounts of walks the young Royals hitters draw?
Hillman: Well, If they would JUST LISTEN. I've told them that walking is way more better than striking out. I've thrown keg partys and done everything I could think of to try and get them to listen. Well, mostly keg partys.
kcroyal45: The game itself is the same, but based on what you knew would differ from Japan, was there anything that, in retrospect, surprised you as being different from baseball overseas?
Hillman: I hear that japanese women dont have any hair downstairs. I find this really hard to believe.
parke57: What was your overall impression of Mike Aviles, and do you see him playing shortstop next year?
Hillman: I'm thinking of making him the team mascot, giving him a silly suit and making him run laps during the 7th inning stretch.
jdmasta289: What roles will incumbent first basemen Billy Butler, Ross Gload, Kila Kaaihue and Shealy play in 2009?
Hillman: I'm thinking of mixing it all up. Letting each of them play a position they've never played before. Sometimes change is good. Are we about done. I have a brown snake playing peekaboo with my asshole.
royalretro: Great first year, Trey, I really supported your hiring! What are your thoughts on possibly moving [Joakim] Soria to the rotation? He's a great pitcher, and having him work 200 innings seems a lot more useful than 70 innings.
Hillman: I don't want to overuse him. He may get tired. I really need to go.
kcroyal45: What was your most exciting moment (or moments) from last season? Was it a specific defensive play, hit or perhaps just a certain point with the team?
Hillman: I would have to say it was that one game againt Seattle wher we had three hits in just one game.
labsorhors: Who on the 40-man roster is going to play Winter Ball this year, and where?
Hillman: I doubt if anybody will, we spend most of the offseason getting drunk and you know , just hangin out!
royalsnut2: Rotation stability was a big plus this season -- did Moore and yourself discuss that as a model similar to Atlanta with [Tom] Glavine, [John] Smoltz and [Greg] Maddux?
Hillman: Why would we want to do that ? Those guys are old and can't hold their liquor.
labsorhors: This is not a question. I just want you to know that we know you work hard, and we know that you are a good example for those looking in from the outside, including our kids.
Hillman: Yeah. I've done a pretty good job of pulling the wool over everyones eyes. I've been thinking of an acting career.
pt33: Any thoughts of moving [Alex] Gordon to shortstop and [Mark] Teahen to third, if Shealy is a viable option at first?
Hillman: It just so happens we will probably trade all those players off to reduce payroll.
stephanie2701: A fan from Europe here -- congratulations on the 75 wins! What is the biggest difference between working with Japanese players vs. American players?
Hillman: Well, The Japanese players all look alike. I used to have to put their names on the front of their Jerseys so I could tell who I was yelling at.
Hillman: I really need to go take a shit now. Are we done!
Herb28712: Do you have a favorite place to eat in K.C.?
Hillman: Do you have cum in your ears, I told you I need to go!
Herb28712: What are you most excited about with the renovated stadium?
Hillman: I just hope it doesn't collapse. You never know about these cheap ass owners!
baseballstud114782: I was born in 1986 and have been a lifelong diehard Royals fan. Being that the Royals haven't made the playoffs since I've been alive, when do you feel, realistically, we can see some October baseball in Kansas City?
Hillman: Chances are you, your son or your grandson will not be seeing October baseball in Kansas Ciy, it really doesn't matter anyway because a meteor from outerspace is supposed to strike the Earth in 4 years..
topher0002: Do you feel Alberto Callaspo has a legitimate chance of being the starting second baseman, or are you still considering Tony Pena to be an option at short and moving Aviles to second?
Hillman: Who ?.
One more question.
Royalmania: Hochevar had a pretty solid rookie campaign. ... Would it be fair to project him out to be a Derek Lowe-type sinkerballer?
Hillman: Damn, I just shit myself. I told you guys! Get me a towel and a bucket of water you morons!
This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Baseball or its clubs.
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