[byetimmy]

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

I had one call me 2 nights ago to try and sell me repair coverage on my minivan that has 87,000 miles. They said I could have coverage for 10 more years and 100,000 miles.
I said man, this sounds great, How Much ?

They said $2000 something.

I said well, I cant pay that much and right now I don't have a job.

They said , Do you have a credit card. YES. Well you can pay $350 now and make monthly payments and by then surely yuo'll be employed.

I said GREAT, lets do it. But first of all what does it cover? They proceeded to read me a list pistons,piston rings, rocker arm, blah, blah. It took him three minutes. When he got done I told him I had the phone to the ear I can't hear from very good because I shoot firearms all day long , so I need to swich sides and please repeat.

After he did that I said OK, sounds good.

Could you please give me your credit card nmber. Yes. I pulled out my credit card and said its a MC . What is the number sir . So I read him the number backwards. Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it back to me again. So I read it backwards again but changed one number. Oh, I see ,i had a number wrong. Let me run it.
Sir , that number is invalid. Would you read it again. So I read it again , Backwards and changed one number again.
He said sir , you keep changing the number. I said, I don't have my glasses on.
Sir, would you be able to get your glasses.
I don't know where their at. Lets just try again.
I'm guxzzling a 12 pack during this whole thing!
So I give him a ****ed up number 2 more times and he says , SIR, could you please find your glasses.
I said OK hang on cause I'm not sure where I left them. He siad Ok. I said hang on now I'll be right back.
So I grabbed two more beers and went out back and watered the grass and played with the dog for about 30 minutes. I figured he had long hung up.
Went back in and said HELLO. YES, did you find your glasses.

I sais yes the damn thing were in my kids treehouse and covered with bird shit. Thats what took me so long as I had to run them through the dishwasher.

so I gave him two more ****ed up credit card numbers and he finally gave up.

I had that dipshit on the phone for 1 hour 20 minutes!

Before I got myself on the do-not-call list, if possible I would just keep doing what I was doing while on the phone. If I'm watching TV or reading the paper or surfing the web, so it's no big deal for me to deal with a phone headset. I would allow them to go through their whole pitch in great detail. I was polite and would throw in the occasional "hmmm" and "ok" and "that's interesting". You can keep these people on the line for a while doing that.

Once I got to the point where I need to share information, I just respond "No thanks". Up until this point, they think they've got a live one. They're on easy street and well on their way to making a commission. I've just crushed that with 2 simple words. This is the zen moment of the call. There's usually a 1-2 second pause as I can almost hear the wind fall out of their sails. It's a beautiful thing.

After the uncomfortable pause, they will shift gears into "hard sell" mode trying to get me to change my mind. I would revert back to my original script of "ok" and "no kidding" remarks until we get to the next point where they ask me for my information and I'll again tell them "No thanks". This cycle will go on until they realize that I was NEVER EVER E-V-E-R GOING TO BUY ANYTHING OVER THE PHONE FROM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE OR USE.

You see, the only way to get back at them is to waste their time MORE than they're wasting my time. I never yell at them or anything. I'm sure they'd prefer if I just hung up so they could move onto their next victi...er... I mean "lead", but I'll be damned if they're going to interrupt MY day without paying a price.