[Jilly]

pr capone - I am so sorry to hear this. It really is not a good experience, but there is hope in it. My grandma died two years ago, but we struggled with the disease for 5 years before that. I know not every experience is the same, but my best advice to you is to go with the flow and laugh when you can. It sounds like she's in the beginning stages as of now since she is still aware of her ability to hide was is happening to her. That will continue for a while, then she will begin to get agitated and angry which manifests itself in so many ways. My grandma said words I didn't even know existed or that she knew and many times her anger was directed at my dad and I because we were closest to her. After that occurred, she drifted into funny, incoherent stories, and hilarious comments that made no sense. All we could do was laugh and enjoy her moment to moment. It wasn't my grandma, but still a human being, all the same. My regret has always been that I didn't spend more time with her those last few years because I was so uncomfortable with that. But I learned my lesson: At her funeral, all the nurses and caregivers from the home she stayed in came. They all came up to me and told me how much she had touched their lives and how much they loved her. Although she wasn't my grandma, she still had worth and meaning to the people around her. I wish I could have seen past myself to have enjoyed that.
It is a hard journey, but that's my best explanation for it - a journey, and through it all, loved ones have to remain flexible, realize that it is ALWAYS the disease that is talking and not the person inside, and continue to love no matter what the cost.

My prayers will be with you.