Originally Posted by Saccogoo
Holy shit. Did Matt Millen have some effed up genetic experiment done to him a la The Boys from Brazil, gave them one way tickets to Kansas City and an open wifi connection?
Knowing that we now have Cassel as a QB, you people are still putting Stafford and Sanchez as your first choices for the Chiefs pick? I can't wait until next year when all you little Millen replicas want to draft Bradford and McCoy. Oh, that's right. McCoy plays at Texas and all the respectable CP Insiders know that every player from Texas isn't worth jack squat, and since Bradford played in a spread offense, he sucks too. Damnable spread monkeys! I loathe them. They couldn't operate an offense under center in a Pop Warner league, let alone the pros. Goddamn shame Freeman decided to come out. 6'6", 260 lb., cannon arm, and worked in a pro style system. He'd be perfect for us next year...oh, wait. He played in the Big 12, and we should never draft from the Big 12, because every team, and in a direct correlation all players from all teams in that conference sucks dog nuts. Not as much as Texas, but still sucking pretty hard.
I wonder what quarterback from any conference other than the Big 12 we can draft in 2011?
We sure as hell show them boys in Detroit what for! They think that they can draft four wide receivers in five years in the first round?! We'll draft five quarterbacks in five years, hold each of those drafts hostage for potential picks in later years and we'll build a monster team with all those third and fourth round selections! Hostage I say!!!! Hold every draft hostage! The Chiefs will be the only team with first round quarterbacks! We will force all teams to give us picks to make sure that the get a first round quarterback. The quarterback of the future for any team in the NFL will now go through Kansas City!!!! We will have our pick of QBOTF, and trade off the others in our hostage situation. Mother ****ers will have to call in the ****ing FBI to negotiate 'cause we're holding the rest of the drafts till the ****ing end of time mother ****ing hostage!!!! Hostage!!!! I said HOSTAGE!!!!!
So, I have two top five lists. One is mine, encompassing sanity and reason, the other is a CP Insider friendly version so I don't get ripped by all the draft geniuses around here for not wanting to hold the draft hostage. That's right. I said MOTHER ****ING HOSTAGE!!!!!!
Real Top Five:
1. Aaron Curry
2. Brian Orakpo
3. Michael Oher
4. Eugene Monroe
5. Beanie Wells
CP Insider Top Five:
1. St. Sanchez
2. Matt Stafford - who is better than Sanchez, but we all know that every closet homosexual here has an absolute crush on the handsome, exotic Sanchez and seeing him in a Chiefs uniform will help transition us from the Tony G exotic looking homo man crush phase to a new one where we can silently purr in gay joviality that our new 80%'er (sociologists state that only 10% of the population is heterosexual and 10% is homosexual, with the other 80% falling somewhere in-between) is in a position of actual relevance on the football field, unlike a tight end, or, god-forbid, a ILB.
3. Everette Brown - because a DE/OLB tweener with suspect speed is just what this franchise needs to pull itself from the ashes of putricity.
4. BJ Raji - 'cause he likes weed, doesn't like to study, is short with short arms and has an ass the size of Jupiter. But I bet he'd love hims some of that Gates and Bryants and Haywards and Hereford House and Jess and Jims and Golden Ox and shit like that yo'. Dude was made for guest judging the Lenexa BBQ contest every stinkin' year.
5. Aaron Curry - just because I don't want to look like a complete and utter dumbass I'll reluctantly put his name here because when all is said and done I know from the bottom of my heart that this guy is the best player in the draft, and I really wanted to put him at the number one spot because, well he is the best player and our linebacking situation for the past 20 years has sucked something fierce, but if I did put Curry at my one spot some of the guys around here would call me names and mock me and then where would I be without my social circle of good internets buddies?
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