I once was using a work laptop to show some porn to a guy from the company (who had provided the laptop) and I dropped it and broke the screen.
When I was younger, at a heavy metal concert, I dropped a fifth of Jack Daniels just as I was running by a cop.
I once had my eyes closed and walked into a lit exposed lightbulb, resulting in 2nd-degree burns on my tit.
But, the stupidest thing of all.... I got married. Winner!
