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I'm not trying to sound heartless here, as I have a tendency to be insensitive to this sort of thing, but....
Why do you keep looking here for help? The only one who can help you is yourself. Quit posting about it over and over and man up and do it for yourself. My family has a long history of substance abuse(including myself), and many of them reach out like this every time they have a relapse. But the thing I've discovered, is that most of them don't actually want to quit doing what they're abusing, they simply want the attention that comes with confessing their evil addictions every few months. And this process continues over and over until they either decide for themselves that they really want to quit, or they submit to the addiction and let it ruin their lives. The prayers and "good luck"s are great and all, but you live your own life and make your own decisions. You know what you need to do. At this point, encouragement is only going to get you so far. Either quit crying wolf, or get serious and do it.
You have the power in you to face this and conquer it once and for all. And that power doesn't originate from friends or family, it's internal. Loved ones can only gently nudge you in the right direction, you have to do the serious work and get there yourself. You have support. You have friends that really care about you. And they will continue to care about you and support you no matter what. You have reasons to fight and win. The only step left is convincing yourself that you can do it. Until you do that, it's only a matter of time until the next relapse.
Best of luck bud. Again, I really don't mean to sound heartless. Just do it.
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