[CoMoChief]

Go over there and watch a Chuck Norris movie.

That right there will get her really wet and in the mood.

Then dash to the bathroom and act like you have to take a really huge shit. Remember this has to be at her place, not yours.

Then come running out of the bathroom in your wizard gown and hat and tell her that you're ready to cast spell level 9 Eroticism on her. (make sure you bolt lock the doors in case she tries to run and leave, this is usually the first reaction to most women I've been with).

Then proceed to go to the kitchen and make some Cream of Wheat over the stove top. If she asks what you're making tell her it's none of her business, because really it's not. It's your Cream of Wheat, you bought it with your own money and took time away out of your schedule to go to the store to purchase it, and she doesn't need to be going through your personal life, as you guys just met.

And when you're ****ing her (obviously the girl has no choice but to drop her panties for you as she can't possibly resist you now) start talking shit, but do it like Randy Jackson would critique someone on American Idol, so she doesn't cry, because when a woman cries in bed that can ruin all the fun. When she's moaning, yelling etc., look at her in the eyes and tell her that she sounds exactly like your own mother. At that point that usually causes them to buck a little bit because they think you're creepy by this point so make sure you're holding on the something.


Then afterwards smoke a big ass bowl of weed, and watch the rest of the Chuck Norris movie. Ask her if she wants to play multi-player Golden Eye on Nintendo 64, because obviously after every fling, every man should play a round of Golden Eye multi-player and I'm more than sure you have your 64 out in your car waiting, like most guys do. If she tells you to leave, do so in a polite manner. But don't forget to take your Wizard hat, gown, and wand with you.

And if you really wanna be nice a make a great impression, leave a couple coupons for sweet deals on her fridge from your local Laser Tag.