[Fat Elvis]

Originally Posted by JD10367

I've only been here a short time, and I'm pretty sure the only thing going DOWN is your penis. Again. As in, "drooping with sadness at another unfulfilled night".

Here's a tip: right before a date, whack off. And then whack off again. And then do it a third time. That way, your kiwis will be empty and you'll feel less of a need to be a manipulative sex-obsessed f**ktard on the date, and instead will actually do all sorts of weird shit, like "talk to her as if she's a real person and not a sperm receptacle" and "try to build a rapport and connection with her". I know. It's a wild idea. Give it a whirl sometime, though.

Unless, of course, you're just looking to get your pink flashlight tugged on, and you're not looking for an actual girlfriend. If that's the case, just go to a hooker once a month. The amount of time and money you seem to spend on fruitless dates, it would probably be cheaper.

Why should he care how much it costs? It doesn't cost him anything. His mom pays for it. Seriously.