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First, I'm glad you survived this horrific experience. In your case, the chances of something fatal occurring were pretty high really.
Second, you should really look into having things gift wrapped at the mall when you buy them to reduce your chances of serious injury or death.
Third, failing that, perhaps your wife cares enough for you so that, with enough begging, she might spare you the ordeal that is wrapping your own presents.
Good luck!
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