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Just like some guys, some girls are relentlessly driven to make unfortunate decisions.
Once, while I was living in LA, I attended a party after already going several days on almost no sleep. Whilst at this gathering, I become sufficiently intoxicated and overly exhausted that I decided I really needed a nap or I was going to wind up face down in the pool. I mentioned my problem to the hostess who, in light of my condition, offered me the temporary use of her bedroom. It seemed like a damn good idea at the time, so I took advantage of her generosity, went to her bed, and immediately fell asleep. Some time later (perhaps a couple of hours), I was awakened by a girl wearing naught but a t-shirt and a pair of panties who was sitting on top of me and engaging in a practice commonly known as dry-humping. Awesome (I think to myself). Then I suddenly recognized her as being married to a guy I knew, and knew quite well. Oh, my God (I says to myself) what the hell is going on? Is this a dream? Have I awakened in an alternate universe? While unconscious, have I traveled back in time and this is some deja-vu-like flashback dimensional rift type of deal that's occurring before they took their vows? As a foggy sort of lucidity swept over me, I finally realized that none of those things had happened and this chick was just real drunk and real horny. I immediately grasped her by the tittahs (which were phenomenal, by the way), and, although Mr. Happy had a totally different opinion on the matter, told her as gently as I could that she had excellent breasts, but we shouldn't do this. After a brief, and mostly one-sided, negotiation, I successfully escaped the room, found my car keys and got the hell out of Dodge. I prayed every night for weeks that her husband would never find out what happened because he was an ex-Marine and a hell of a badass. I would hate to have to fight the guy - especially over something like this. I was proud of myself, though. For a minute there, I was on the very edge of doing something I would have regretted my entire life. I wonder if they're still together.
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