[Hammock Parties]

ROUND THREE - THE SWEATY SIXTEEN (no homo)

1. The Terminator
2. Bruce Lee
3. Batman
4. Rambo
5. John McClane
6. James Bond
7. Jason Bourne
8. John Matrix
9. Dutch
10. Captain Kirk
11. Josey Wales
12. Indiana Jones
13. Wolverine
14. Col. James Braddock
15. Martin Riggs
16. Bryan Mills

Commentary: I think this is a solid group. You can't argue with Batman, Rambo, McClane, Lee, Riggs, Bond, Indy or Dutch. That's half of the remaining field.

Is it wrong to have three Arnold characters in the top 16? Not anymore wrong than it was to have four Clint Eastwoods in the top 32. Arnold is arguably the greatest action star of the 1980s and the 1990s. He deserves this representation.

I'm still calling Batman as the winner of the whole thing. But if we have a dark horse, you have to like Martin Riggs, who came on strong in the last round.

Nominations I feel got left behind and probably could have won matchups in round two: Ash, Kyle Reese, Robocop.

Biggest frauds: Bryan Mills (benefited from a weak opening heat against Colt Seavers and Remo ****ing Williams, who got the shaft), Josey Wales (Robocop should be here), The Terminator (his heat was decent enough, but Jules was way too easy in the second round).

God, do you realize John Matrix is about to fight Dutch in a few days? I'd see that film. Actually, you might be able to create it from existing footage.