"Today one of my customers was this chick who used to like it when I came on her face. I can't believe anyone could put up with her long enough to get married. Damn, I feel sorry for that bastard. On his customer receipt, I told him to check the oil in his car, because I was able to stick a picture underneath the hood of their car. It said..."
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"When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read 'all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and Catholics.' When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be taken pure, and without the base alloy of hypocrisy.”--Abraham Lincoln
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