4 packages of cream cheese
2 packages of dried beef or 2 packages of bacon bits (the real shit, none of that imitation bullshit)
scallions if you want
a teaspoon of whatsthisheresauce
let cream cheese sit a bit for easy mixing, chop up dried beef if that is what you got, chop up scallions if you wanna throw them in, combine all in bowl, mix a little bit then add the teaspoon of whatsthisheresauce
serve with crackers
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