Crabs aren't so bad. Here's an easy way to get rid of them:
Go to the movie theatre with nothing on but a trenchcoat. Order two large buckets of extra salty popcorn and one extra large soda. Go watch your movie. During the movie, eat one bucket of popcorn and drink your soda. Open your trenchcoat and dump the other bucket of popcorn in your lap.
When the crabs go to get a drink, change seats.
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You seem nice!
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