[wutamess]

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis

I have a 12 y/o daughter, and we gave her a cell phone for Christmas. I wouldn't recommend taking the phone away for good for a couple of reasons: 1) it was a gift, 2) since you let her go out with her friends, it will always provide you a way to contact her whenever you want- one of our conditions on our daughter having the phone was that she answer it whenever we call, and 3) a cell phone for a teen (or tween) daughter is the best leverage you will ever have in terms of discipline/consequences for bad behavior. Being grounded from the phone is worse than being grounded and not being able to go outside; you permanantly get rid of the phone and that option goes out the window quickly. The phone (and the possibility of losing access to it for periods of time) is a great way to modify t(w)een behavior.

I really don't think that your daughter has done anything really out of line for her age (I know it still drives you ape shit; it does me too). As a parent, it is important to have a continued and ongoing conversation about how important it is to respect our bodies, and what the consequences are if we don't do that, especially in this day and age. She probably knows the "nuts and bolts" of sex, but there is no way that she can possibly understand the implications and impacts of sex or presexual behavior. Make sure that she understands that she has ownership over her body, that it is more precious than anything any boy can offer her and to not give it up lightly. Also, make sure she understands that you want to meet any and every boy that she dates or spends time with; set clear understandings, boundaries and expectations with her.

You have to let her grow, but you don't have to let her grow up in one day, one week, one month or even one year; it is an ongoing process.

Good luck, those of us with daughters need it.

Great advice. Exactly what I'm looking for also. Why do I need to know/meet every lil fugger she dates? Isn't that one of those situations where "the guy she really likes" meets the parents? Not every Tom Dick and Hairy that's ultimately trying to do only one thing... Get in her pants!