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At the risk of summoning an annoying spirit being intent on devouring my soul or, alternatively, assuring an eternity roasting over a fire tended by evil midgets, I whipped out the old Ouija board and asked the little, flat fella one simple question; "Oh, Ouija board ... hear me nah ... who is the worst quarterback in the history of the entire Universe?"
The planchette began to move and, with no discernible hesitation, the answer was spelled out; M.A.T.T.H.E.W.B.R.E.N.N.A.N.C.A.S.S.E.L. I found this odd, since no one involved in the strange experiment was consciously aware of knowing Cassel's middle name. Apparently, even those who dwell in the most, remote, ethereal dimensions are aware of our plight.
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