Quote:
Originally Posted by chasedude
Yeah, it's the psychological crap that still torments me today. My mother's emotions manifest themselves in some strange ways that I still restrain myself from being open around her.
My father was my safe haven though. I remember a couple of times him coming in during the beatings and trying to deflect her rage to himself. He say things like "the boys had enough", but this would enrage her further.
I still love her, she's my mother and has supported me when I needed her there. Yet, that pain of childhood under her thumb still eats away at me today.
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wow! you and I must have lead very similar childhoods. dad didn't know about most of it or I doubt they'd still be together. I have no more pain over it though. I've let it go. It ain't easy, but it's doable. I read once that forgiveness is supernatural because we can't do it on our own. interesting premise huh? anyways, I made damn sure I didn't raise my kids that way. both of my children tested their limits and both of them got a swat here and there....but eventually both had their own individual instances where they got a pretty good firm hard hand spanking....and that was it....never needed one again. they learned that no is no. pretty smart lil boogers! and pretty awesome young adults if I do say so myself...and I do.