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Sorry for the early hijack with my own life's drama but I thought I would report back how the day went...
Yes, I have older children and we recently had a healthy first son who is now 6 weeks old. Every previous 9-11 since Emersyn's passing has been a weepfest and difficult for my wife. It's just another day for me since I'm a dude but it hurts watching someone you love struggle. So, today was awesome. Definitely some of the pain has eased because another year has passed but having a newborn around to fill that empty spot has been amazing therapy for my wife. We'd have most definitely not had more kids had Emersyn been healthy so while the boy doesn't replace her, it does help fill that void - including the nursery that had gone untouched since her death until the boy became obviously viable and she started nesting.
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