[jAZ]

Originally Posted by Mr. Laz

Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance

Cool that you are asking. Says a lot about your willingness to try to support a faimly member even when you don't feel comfortable about her choice to have the discussion or orientation.

So I start with a non-judgmental question: why treat this as question of someone's sex life?

I mean, I understand why, but my point with that question is to emphasize that I don't think it's exclusively a question of sex life. It's a question of simple human socialization. It's a question of "who do you spend your time with?" "How did you meet them?"

So it seems to me that both the easiest thing for you to do, and honestly, the very best thing for your family member, I'm sure, is to ask the human questions like those above. But also ask her questions about the process she's gone through coming to this point? How did she find out she was gay? What was it like telling her family?

If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you.