I've been in lots of fights. A few I've won big time, a few were bloody draws, and most of the rest didn't amount to much. But there was that one time....
Senior year. Got in a shoving match at lunch with a guy who was picking on one of my friends (really small guy who never fought). The bully in question was well hated, and a fight between us was set for Friday night at the fairgrounds. Fights like this are prime entertainment in small towns, and a good chunk of the high school showed up to watch. Prior to the fight, I listened to Eye of the Tiger (this was 1983) over and over to get psyched out. A friend picked me up. My friend convinced me that I needed to relax (MORON) and handed me a pint of Southern Comfort and a joint. I hit both doob and bottle hard, and was completely fucked up when we reached the fairgrounds. My friend's van door slides open, I stagger out amid a cloud of pot smoke, take a swing at the guy, miss by a mile, fall over, and then get beat bloody in front of EVERYBODY. I was lucky I didn't lose any teeth, but I had two black eyes, and bruised and blooded everything on my face.
My friends cleaned me up as best they could and dumped me off at home. I was still drunk and high, and scratched the hell out of the front door trying to open it. Finally, I got the key in, turned the knob, pushed open the door and fell flat on my face on the living room floor. When I opened my eyes, I saw my stepmom's toes in front of my face. I looked up at her and said "AW, fuck."
So, on top of getting a humiliating asskicking in front of the entire school by a complete asshole, I got grounded for two weeks for getting drunk and fighting (luckily no one detected the pot, or I'm sure I would have got a second beating that night).
The good news - apparently the bully wasn't particularly impressive in beating my semi-conscious body, and somebody else kicked his ass shortly thereafter. He quit bothering people. I also challenged him to a rematch, which he declined. Further, I didn't make excuses - I took my lumps and post-fight abuse like a man. So I learned two important life lessons - never fight when you're drunk/high, and if you get your ass kicked, be honest about it.