Quote:
Originally Posted by KC Tattoo
This.
I find myself needing balance in my life, never get too emotionally high and never get too emotionally down on myself. Both levels of high excitement or set backs can be very damaging. If I get too excited then the rug gets pulled out from under me and I fall flat on my face drunk. If I get down then I fall in the depression trap and fall flat on my face drunk or get suicidal. That is just the way it is for me. I want to be happy in life but enjoy it as it comes one day at a time.
Alcohol is the quickest way to set myself up for failure. I was a happy drunk or when I got drunk but the carnage it left me miserable and I have a long road of recovery one day at a time. It isn't easy & wont be easy. It shouldn't be easy it is what makes you a stronger, better person.
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I don't want to in any way lead anyone to believe that I am not fully aware of the challenge that is ahead of me. The most difficult battles I have ever fought are the battles against myself. I am a very "gray area" person and don't do very well with black and white, so I avoid black and white scenarios. I have been given a second chance at life with a black and white question. Which is more important to me, my marriage or alcohol? The question is that simple. I will NOT drink alcohol again.