[Canofbier]

Browsing through some people's online profiles, and holy shit! Get a load of this one:

I just wanted to let all the single men know out there, that when I love, I love with all my heart!!!!!( once I learn how to make hearts on my keyboard I'll update my profile with that!!!!!!! )

A little about me, when I'm not working I like to take my best friends dad's camping lantern and go into my closet and turn it on and play with my army of my little ponies. When my friends are not available to go out with me on a Friday night, I like to go out and buy a package of gummy bears to bring home and watch a movie with me. That way when I set them up on the couch with me, I don't feel all alone, and my friends are with me. I need someone with me at all times, because I am so insecure and lonely. Just an FYI, I still order off the kids menu, so if we go out to eat on our date, and I don't get the toy I want, it will get ugly, you will have to use the jaws of life to settle me down.

About my match,
My deepest and most sincere hope is that I can find someone on here who can be with me through the UPS and downs of life. Like if I'm depressed, would you be up for cuddling on the couch watching lifetime movies while eating crispy white low sodium popcorn and drinking wheat germ shakes?????!?!?!?!?!? I also like to talk about moving in after the third date. Just a warning, like it would when we have kids, I get up 6 times a night to check on my furby ( if you actually know what that is, major props to you, lets go get married now! ), to make sure it's okay. So when we start living together, I would need someone who is up to that!

Totally just kidding, or am I???? If we interest eachother, lets talk soon!!

What the **** am I paying $15 per month for?