Seems like what you're laughing at is more or less the media's interpretation of science for clickbait articles and basically the marketing side of science.
The actual science is pretty much irrefutable. Science isn't 100% guarantees like the media reports it, or when the CDC says "getting back to normal in a year" when they actually mean there's some percentage of a chance to do so in order to talk people into doing what's
theoretically the best course of action.
It wasn't ever "wash your hands and wear a mask and no one will die"... it started with washing hands/social distancing to slow down the spread. And when that didn't work, it was wearing masks. And when that didn't work, it was shutting shit down.
All of those things were the best course of action based on the information at the time for a virus that didn't exist 18 months ago.... and everyone should be aware by now that masks aren't 100%, and a mask that's 30% effective will literally slow it down by 30%, not "get back to normal" (and that's if everyone complies, which obviously hasn't happened at all).
Science gets dumbed down
a lot because people in general are terrible at math and want to know without a doubt what's going to happen in the future.... well, science isn't about crystal-balling, it's about logically coming to conclusions based on the data provided at the time and then modifying the conclusion as more data becomes available.
And people don't like that.
tl;dr... stop watching the news and with any article that says "a new study says...", go find that study and read what it really said.