Quote:
Originally Posted by alanm
How many road kills do you have? You could add a eagle to the side of your door along with the others. Like fighter pilots did with Japanese zeros in WWII  |
I have a couple of dogs and cats but no other road kill. God knows if I hit a moose I'd total my car and maybe wind up in the hospital. This is the only eagle I've hit and based upon my (admittedly) informal survey over the past 24+ hours, I seem to be the only person to have hit a bald eagle with my car based upon a survey of people with roughly 500+ accumulated years of living in Alaska. Fortunately, I wasn't hurt and the damage was cosmetic because my car still functions. But I'm definitely thinking of using the eagle badge when I get my new grill. Those who don't know won't know but those who do will understand.
Also, I know I didn't have to give a lengthy 'explanation' of what I did but I included it as an education if nothing else. It isn't a way to justify myself but a what to do if you're in a sticky spot. As I said, I don't expect any criminal charges. And chances of a civil fine are low, particularly since I didn't keep anything from the animal and took pains to document that fact. Rather, I helped the APD officer extract it from my grill and put it into a trash bag. He took possession of it and I don't know what happened after that. I expect it will go to USF&W for a necropsy to see: toxin levels; damage; general health, etc. I dont know where it will go from here but this has been one of the more unusual situations in my life. I am glad I know the USF&W prosecutor and a number of Asst. U.S. Attorneys. I don't think they could decline charges based on my relationship but I can see them saying, "If we seek a civil fine, that SOB is going to fight us tooth and nail and we have better things to do with our time than seek a civil fine for something so clearly unavoidable."
Besides that, I can always show the picture of my truck and say that my nickname is now 'Eagle Killer'. Maybe word of this gets to Patrick Mahomes and I can get a seat in his suite next time KC plays Philadelphia. They'll show pictures of my truck with the embedded eagle on the screens at Arrowhead. Maybe photoshop Mahomes into the driver's seat and a Philly football helmet onto the bird's head. Hell, maybe Clay can make that meme next time we play Philly. I can't do much with Photoshop. I can pound the drum and we can get PETA to protest and even more national attention. Meet Taylor. I can say, "Yeah, Travis has caught a ton of TDs but has he killed an eagle? I have, baby." Then the news will be about how Taylor Swift is dating this fat, balding lawyer from Alaska. So, yeah, I'm pretty much on the rocket ride to stardom at this point.