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STORYTIME WITH FAX
Once upon a time, there was a handsome, young prince who lived in a beautiful, peaceful kingdom. One day, the old king called for the prince and said to him, "Young prince, one day you will be king and my entire beautiful, peaceful kingdom will be yours. Now listen up. For, since you are now 14 years of age, it is time that you find a wife."
So the prince thanked the old king and then began thinking about this situation. In fact, the prince thought about this situation for a very, very long time. Well, the more the prince thought about it, the more uncomfortable he became, so he asked for a second audience with the old king and he said, "Your Majesty, thank you for the kingdom and all, but I don't want to find a wife because I am gay.".
Upon hearing this news, the king screwed up his eyebrows and twisted his lower lip and thought to himself, "Oh my goodness! This is exceeding puzzling." So the king decided to seek guidance from the Royal Book Of Rules which had been handed down through the royal family for many, many generations. The king turned the pages and turned the pages and turned the pages until he found the rule he was looking for. That rule said, "If the prince is gay, send him to a monastery."
And so it was that the next day, the prince was sent to a monastery far, far away from the castle. When the prince arrived at the monastery, he was welcomed with open arms by the friars who played music and danced in the dirt to celebrate the young prince's arrival. Then that night, the friars all got drunk on wine and gang-raped the prince raw.
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