Thread: The list of 85 by Roastmaster Saul Good. And hey, it's actually saul good.
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Old 06-24-2013, 01:32 PM   #8771
tooge tooge is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Liberty, MO
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama View Post
Yeah.

Here is a funny story about the "stop girl" aka my ex.

So about a week after the table incident...her parents were coming down for a "game day" (Illini football...no one cares so you just wake up at 8 AM and start getting ****ed up)

All of her friends were like "so Megan...how do you feel about your parents meeting Rick?"

Of course she was concerned. I'm me.

So uh...yeah. By about 10 AM...I was already 5 car bombs deep. I had already been kicked out of a bar.

So about 3 PM I meet her parents. Things go really well. Kind of. Her last boyfriend was a mute around the parents so they appreciated me actually talking to them and being somewhat personable.

6 PM.

Wasted. I'm so drunk...we're basically both passed out on her couch...and legend goes...somehow I had a bloody nose. I have no idea why. So I'm sitting on her couch, picking 'bloody boogars' out of my nose...and wiping them on her arm.

In front of her parents.

anyone care to guess why I'm always single?

I have a lot of fun Megan stories. She put up with a lot of shenanigans. We're still quite fond of one another.
Here is an excerpt from a study about nose bleeds and alcohol consumption. Since you "have no idea why":

Arterial nose bleeds in adults are serious and potentially life threatening whose cause is undertermined in 85% of cases.3 Our finding that alcohol is an important causal factor in nose bleeds is supported by the growing evidence of the cardiovascular ad cardiorespiratory effects of alcohol. Regular alcohol consumption reduces platelet aggregation and prolongs the bleeding time; these effects, coupled with haemodynamic changes such as vasodilatation and changes in blood pressure, may be important in causing some cases of arterial nose bleeds in adults.4,5 While the cause of nose bleeds in adults is likely to be multifactorial, the importance of high alcohol consumption should not be overlooked, and a detailed alcohol history should always be obtained.


You're funny.
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