Originally Posted by Sully
I've discussed this story before...
When I was young, my parents divorced. At first, tey had joint custody, and everything was about 50/50.
As I went through junior high, my real mom began to really play up the single life. She was out a lot, brought people home late, even married a guy in order to keep him in the country. She also spent all my child support money on her own things.
Meanwhile, my dad remarried, moved into a nice place in a nice school district, and had a really stable place.
One Christmas, the plan was that I spent Christmas Eve with my dad and Christmas Day with my real mom. Christmas Eve went great, but the Christmas morning my mom picked me up and everything went to shit. My mom was on a tear, berating me for not being a good son, for being excited about the gifts my dad could buy me that she couldn't, etc. I was 12, and it took all the courage I had to tell her that I wasn't going to spend Christmas this way, and that she should take me back to my dad's.
The next day, I was back at my mom's. it was difficult and awkward. She proceeded to tell me, in great detail, how she had tried to kill herself the day before, putting the blame on me for abandoning her. You have no idea how that ****s with a 12-year ild's mind. I finally moved in with my father a few years later and cut off all contact with her for years. As I was in my 20s, we began to try and rebuild a relationship. Thing is, she was still the same. Guilt trips, not "getting enough" from me as her son, etc. after a particular weekend where she needed money and I had none to give, and refused to go to friends to borrow any, it happened again.
She called me asking me to come take her to the ER, because she was having "insulin problems." After a few hours at KU Med, it got weird. I was asked into a private room with a doctor and asked if I could be around her for a few days to keep an eye on her. I said I would, and figured it was a health issue. On the way home, though, she let me know she had tried to kill herself, and if I was a better son, she wouldn't have felt so hopeless.
It's been 10 years since we've had a relationship. We've talked a couple of times, but I refuse to expose myself, and now my family, to that type of abuse and manipulation. I am ****ed up in so many ways because of her.
My long-winded point is this...
Good. It's good she's losing custody. She's unable to be a stable influence on her child and can do more damage than good. I pray to God she doesn't take her life, and that she finds the help she needs. But my thoughts are with that kid, and hoping he or she doesn't have to go through the shit I have.
I don't have an answer for your question, but I just felt very strongly about this, and I apologize for the hijack.
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