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87. Dartgod
Join Date: 8/21/00
Total Posts: 30,094
Dartgod is basically good for one thing on this forum, and that is his annual gambling challenge contest. For that reason alone, he makes the list. Other than that, I find his posts to be awful, his football takes to be of the novice variety, and his obsession with Jimmy Buffett to be creepy. He's best friends online and offline with Frazod. They often go on double dates...and when the host asks them if they'd like a table or booth, they both start laughing nervously and request a table because there is no way those two fat ****s are fitting in a booth. You know when the one fat guy has to push the table in the booth towards the skinnier guy so he can fit in without his belly overflapping the table? Well they got into a 20 minute argument about who was getting the table pushed towards the other the one time they went to a restaurant with booths only and they had to end up sitting on the same side while their poor wives had a table shoved so close to them they had to eat with their elbows on the table, which is rude.
Pros: The aforementioned gambling challenge. Friendly enough to give the last slice of pizza to Frazod the last time they got together to watch an all day marathon of M*A*S*H. Dreams in color.
Cons: Has Frazod, Gonzo and Phobia on his friends list. So his friends consist of very large men who have wives that are total drama queen/wrist cutters that try and become father figures to degenerate forum posters in their low to mid 20s. He drives a Mercury and he's very large...so getting out of the driver seat is a chore. He has to do one of those awkward side shifting movements where he basically has to lay his head down in the passenger seat and put his feet out of the car door and then swing like a pendelum to get out of the car to prevent his large stomach from crushing the steering wheel. It's a horrid site to watch. Doesn't add sugar to his kool-aid because he thinks it helps him watch his figure and manage his diabetes. Has anyone ever forgotten sugar in their kool-aid? It's horrendous. Drink water, guy.
Outlook: Probably will be a steady 80s guy on the list as long as Gambling Challenge remains a thing. Probably should rock, paper, scissor Frazod when they ride in his mercury together because when they are both trying to get out of the car at the same time it looks like they are making out with their feet draping out of the car and it's really, really gay looking. And really funny at the same time. Well I guess if they went one at a time whoever got out first would look like they were giving the other one head so it's a lose/lose for them and a win/win for anyone lucky enough to watch two fatasses trying to get out of a ****ing Mercury.
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