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Marriage is like a carnival mirror....
And my favorite line is: Don't get mad. Get even.
I did not see if there are kids involved. It certainly changes things when the process gets going.
When the conversation of divorce was mentioned my marriage was past the point of no return but it seems you are the one bringing said action and you don't sound like you want to reconcile. At this point it just a fight for the money unless there are kids involved and still the most major item is the money.
When I got divorced there were lots of financial papers floating (none asking how my mental well being was) and lawyers trying to find hidden assets but the reason for the divorce was only a formality.
Why do you want to go after the other guy? Is it your problem that he cheated on his wife or only because your wife was the one he cheated with? Your wife cheated on YOU.
Good luck, May you enjoy the fact that she is going to tag any savings, equity properties, collectibles, retirement, 401K's and IRA's accounts and depending on your situation own or make you buy her out of any businesses you own together.
My divorce was easy, we only dealt with the money.
You will soon understand, with 20/20, why prenups are so important.
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