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Old 08-14-2019, 09:11 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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I discovered tonight that my family name is a lie.
A fellow Chiefs fan who started following me on twitter long ago and I have the same last name. There are lots of Wendlers, though. Jim Wendler is a famous powerlifter, his fame surpassing even mine. So I thought it was just a fun coincidence, mostly.

Until tonight.


For whatever reason I got curious when I saw my fellow Wendler tweeting tonight, looked at his profile, and noticed he lives in Springfield, MO. This is not far from where my grandfather was born (Freistatt, MO) and lived.

So I asked my dad if grandpa had any brothers.

Turns out he did have a brother...and several half brothers.


So I messaged this dude and asked him about family history, and he says his dad's family is from Stotts City, MO and Mt Vernon, MO....which is eerily close to where my grandpa was not only born (see above), but lived for decades (Monett, MO).

Turns out this dude had a FAMILY TREE all printed out just laying in his desk, and he starts sending me photos. My grandfather actually isn't on it, BUT someone with the SAME MIDDLE NAME AS ME is.

Freistatt and Monett are all over this tree. This has to be the same family.


I send the photo to my dad, who immediately identifies his own grandfather by his first name. Then he reveals his dad (my grandpa) had a falling out with my great grandfather and they were estranged for decades, never reconciling, my grandpa even refusing to go to his funeral.

This is because my great grandfather was a douchebag who divorced my great grandmother for a younger woman during the depression, resulting in her basically working herself to death. Which, presumably, is why my grandpa isn't on the family tree.


THEN this dude sends me ANOTHER photo of the tree dating back five generations to Germany. It shows the origin of my family name.

When someone named Wendler married someone named Christianshatz.


Only thing is...the Wendler is female.


Apparently, Henry Christianshatz was so ashamed of his last name, when he married Anna Wendler, he decided to take her name.

So, by all rights....my Wendler family name should not exist.

Furthermore, my great grandfather was a douchebag, further casting shame upon the name. But the odds are I'm not reproducing anyway, meaning the family name dies with me. But it should already be dead, if you examine all the evidence.


So you can call me Clay Christianshatz from now on.

It's pronounced Christian-SHITS. Which...in many ways...is the perfect last name for me.


Hey, at least it's legit.
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Old 08-16-2019, 10:40 AM   #121
phisherman phisherman is offline
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Burt, honestly, why do you care? I'm completely confused as to why you give a crap whether or not someone is going to a private party.
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Old 08-16-2019, 10:49 AM   #122
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Originally Posted by phisherman View Post
Burt, honestly, why do you care? I'm completely confused as to why you give a crap whether or not someone is going to a private party.
burt hates me and can't stand that something is going well for me
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Old 08-16-2019, 10:57 AM   #123
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Originally Posted by phisherman View Post
Burt, honestly, why do you care? I'm completely confused as to why you give a crap whether or not someone is going to a private party.
A private party has nothing to do with it. I believe you missed post 92...

Look, I remember claynus back when he was a fat little piece pf pus, living in his parents basement. He is and always has been a wanna be. It just rankles me that he projects being "all that" when he is still a little pus bag.

We've all been to parties. But claynus is going to a "Private Party, invite only".
His delivery reeks with self importance. He ain't Dane and he ain't Sly.... he just wants to be.

Still confused?
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Old 08-16-2019, 11:11 AM   #124
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Of course I described it that way. Because you tried to belittle it by ascribing the "Hardees" moniker.

Please respect my highly exclusive social events. To which only cool people were invited.
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Old 08-16-2019, 11:15 AM   #125
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Originally Posted by burt View Post
A private party has nothing to do with it. I believe you missed post 92...

Look, I remember claynus back when he was a fat little piece pf pus, living in his parents basement. He is and always has been a wanna be. It just rankles me that he projects being "all that" when he is still a little pus bag.

We've all been to parties. But claynus is going to a "Private Party, invite only".
His delivery reeks with self importance. He ain't Dane and he ain't Sly.... he just wants to be.

Still confused?
Again, who the f**k cares? Let it go, bro.
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Old 08-16-2019, 11:18 AM   #126
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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
Of course I described it that way. Because you tried to belittle it by ascribing the "Hardees" moniker.

Please respect my highly exclusive social events. To which only cool people were invited.
You play too many word games... I belittled it because previously you described it as...

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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
You are welcome to show up at the red carpet event for the premiere of my latest video this weekend.
You can try to backtrack, pus bag, but it is right there... you so wanna be the cool guy. Pssst, they are still laughing at you. Now, crawl back into the closet... I AM done now.
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Old 08-16-2019, 11:21 AM   #127
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Who's backtracking? That's literally what's happening, bud.

We're having a "Clay's Video and Football party." Invite only. Free barbecue.

You aren't invited.

But I'll ask you again since you might want to be slightly cooler than you are now: would you like a box of Mahomes Magic Crunch?
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Old 08-16-2019, 01:15 PM   #128
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I know where Clay lives so I'm just gonna show up to the party
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Old 08-16-2019, 01:36 PM   #129
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OP should get a personalized Chiefs jersey with "Christianshatz" on the back.
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Old 08-16-2019, 01:37 PM   #130
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I know where Clay lives so I'm just gonna show up to the party
It's not at my house. You think I would host a party at this dump?
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Old 08-16-2019, 02:21 PM   #131
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It's not at my house. You think I would host a party at this dump?
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Old 08-16-2019, 02:23 PM   #132
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Let it roll off your back, bro. That dude's family tree probably doesn't even fork, haters gonna hate.
Clay will be over sitting on his tree
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Old 08-16-2019, 02:28 PM   #133
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burt hates me and can't stand that something is going well for me
Famous last words, just like always the bottom will fall out and your back to 637 sq/ft of misery... alone.
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Old 08-16-2019, 02:38 PM   #134
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Again, who the f**k cares? Let it go, bro.
I will. I get tired of Claynus talking in circles. But to quote you...

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haters gonna hate.
And if Claynus was on fire, I wouldn't piss on him to put it out.
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Old 08-16-2019, 02:53 PM   #135
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This thread certainly went to the shatz in a hurry.
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