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Old 08-14-2019, 09:11 PM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I discovered tonight that my family name is a lie.
A fellow Chiefs fan who started following me on twitter long ago and I have the same last name. There are lots of Wendlers, though. Jim Wendler is a famous powerlifter, his fame surpassing even mine. So I thought it was just a fun coincidence, mostly.

Until tonight.


For whatever reason I got curious when I saw my fellow Wendler tweeting tonight, looked at his profile, and noticed he lives in Springfield, MO. This is not far from where my grandfather was born (Freistatt, MO) and lived.

So I asked my dad if grandpa had any brothers.

Turns out he did have a brother...and several half brothers.


So I messaged this dude and asked him about family history, and he says his dad's family is from Stotts City, MO and Mt Vernon, MO....which is eerily close to where my grandpa was not only born (see above), but lived for decades (Monett, MO).

Turns out this dude had a FAMILY TREE all printed out just laying in his desk, and he starts sending me photos. My grandfather actually isn't on it, BUT someone with the SAME MIDDLE NAME AS ME is.

Freistatt and Monett are all over this tree. This has to be the same family.


I send the photo to my dad, who immediately identifies his own grandfather by his first name. Then he reveals his dad (my grandpa) had a falling out with my great grandfather and they were estranged for decades, never reconciling, my grandpa even refusing to go to his funeral.

This is because my great grandfather was a douchebag who divorced my great grandmother for a younger woman during the depression, resulting in her basically working herself to death. Which, presumably, is why my grandpa isn't on the family tree.


THEN this dude sends me ANOTHER photo of the tree dating back five generations to Germany. It shows the origin of my family name.

When someone named Wendler married someone named Christianshatz.


Only thing is...the Wendler is female.


Apparently, Henry Christianshatz was so ashamed of his last name, when he married Anna Wendler, he decided to take her name.

So, by all rights....my Wendler family name should not exist.

Furthermore, my great grandfather was a douchebag, further casting shame upon the name. But the odds are I'm not reproducing anyway, meaning the family name dies with me. But it should already be dead, if you examine all the evidence.


So you can call me Clay Christianshatz from now on.

It's pronounced Christian-SHITS. Which...in many ways...is the perfect last name for me.


Hey, at least it's legit.
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Old 08-15-2019, 08:57 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by displacedinMN View Post
Shit like this happened more than what families want to admit.

My great grandmother left her husband. He moved back to Kansas. Been to his grave. Amazed we did not find more about more kids.

I have one side of the family that changed the spelling of their name in the 30's so it looked less German.


I know a few that say their family name was cut off or shortened by the people at Ellis island. Because their European name would not fit in the box.

Weird shit man. You be you.
My maternal grandfather abandoned my grandmother and her four kids back in the 40s. A real piece of shit, apparently. I never met him. The man I knew as "grandpa" was her second husband.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:05 AM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by displacedinMN View Post
Shit like this happened more than what families want to admit.

My great grandmother left her husband. He moved back to Kansas. Been to his grave. Amazed we did not find more about more kids.

I have one side of the family that changed the spelling of their name in the 30's so it looked less German.


I know a few that say their family name was cut off or shortened by the people at Ellis island. Because their European name would not fit in the box.

Weird shit man. You be you.
Friend went from Eichmann to Eichmeyer.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:12 AM   #78
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by suzzer99 View Post
I think he might have had a outstanding citizenold fetish as well because she lost a bunch of weight and then went completely nuts trying to screw everything in sight. Which I assume was ok with him.
pics?
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:26 AM   #79
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That is scary. I was born in Cassville
That’s crazy!
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:29 AM   #80
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Originally Posted by Hammock Parties View Post
pics?
This was 1997 or so - pre social media and camera phones.

She wasn't bad but nothing insanely hot. I dated her before she lost the weight lol. But at least she had boobs then.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:30 AM   #81
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is online now
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:38 AM   #82
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That’s crazy!
Also lived in Cassville, Monett, Pierce City, Mt. Vernon....etc.... and my wife comes from German heritage. Clay Christshitz might be my in-law?
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:39 AM
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:48 AM   #83
oldman oldman is offline
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My family name is Norman French, but they had to leave the country due to a religious dispute. They hung out in Westphalia for a few years and the name was Gemanized until they moved to the Netherlands. Then it got a Dutch treatment until they moved to America in 1698. The original name was restored in 1740. Which is good, because there are just way too many letters in both the German and Dutch spellings.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:52 AM   #84
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About the guy taking the woman's name. I had a guy working for me for a short while who's last name was Posey. He married a girl who's 1st name was Rosie. Seriously, she made him take her last name.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:55 AM   #85
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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We will just call you Shatz for short. You need to change your CP name now. Welcome Mr. Shatz
Not in the middle of a Hammock Party.

I am waiting until it is over.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:56 AM   #86
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Genealogy Research is the shit. No pun intended.

This is awesome stuff Clay, congrats on finding family.
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:59 AM   #87
saphojunkie saphojunkie is offline
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That's funny. My real name is Joe Hebrewpoopin
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Old 08-15-2019, 09:59 AM   #88
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Originally Posted by carlos3652 View Post
Genealogy Research is the shit. No pun intended.

This is awesome stuff Clay, congrats on finding family.
It's comforting to know that my grandfather and father moved beyond the douchebaggery of their progenitor.

The guy on twitter seems cool, too, so I'm assuming the douchebag's other offspring were OK people. I'll be interested to meet them.
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Old 08-15-2019, 10:04 AM   #89
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Originally Posted by carlos3652 View Post
Genealogy Research is the shit. No pun intended.

This is awesome stuff Clay, congrats on finding family.
yup.

My grandfather(5) came here in 1760 from Ireland, ran a five horse supply wagon and was eventually ambushed/murdered by the Haupe brothers, notorious serial killers of the time.
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Old 08-15-2019, 10:08 AM   #90
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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That's funny. My real name is Joe Hebrewpoopin
Let's concoct more wild excrement/religion surnames.

George Jewcrap

Mary Muslimscat

Harry Hindudung

Max Mormonoffal

Chris Catholicfeces
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