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Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
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Old 05-21-2014, 11:32 AM   #316
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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We aim to please.
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Old 05-21-2014, 11:35 AM   #317
penguinz penguinz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bevischief View Post
Teaspoon of baking soda takes cares of the gas.
Baking soda is for heartburn not gas.
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Old 05-21-2014, 11:53 AM   #318
bevischief bevischief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
If he's suffering from excessive acid, eating baking soda will create excess gas.
In the beans.
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Old 05-21-2014, 12:09 PM   #319
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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We've been talking about Go Chiefs bowel movements for two days. He must be happy as a little girl.
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Old 05-21-2014, 12:10 PM   #320
loochy loochy is offline
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Originally Posted by CleveSteve View Post
Thank you to all the participants of this thread. My fav CP thread since "Draw something fast" and the diarrhea elephant.
this:


plus this:


equals this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:24 PM   #321
RaiderH8r RaiderH8r is offline
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I'm kidding, of course.

I wish I had a scale. I feel tremendously light.
I told you. I knew it would come to this but no. Couldn't listen to me. Now you'll forever be plagued by the question of just how much did you shit. Sure, you'll talk about the time you took an epic dump but you'll never be able to quantify it.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:26 PM   #322
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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Originally Posted by RaiderH8r View Post
I told you. I knew it would come to this but no. Couldn't listen to me. Now you'll forever be plagued by the question of just how much did you shit. Sure, you'll talk about the time you took an epic dump but you'll never be able to quantify it.
And we didn't even get a picture of it
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:29 PM   #323
loochy loochy is offline
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Originally Posted by ptlyon View Post
And we didn't even get a picture of it
?

yeah we did
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:29 PM   #324
loochy loochy is offline
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
We've been talking about Go Chiefs bowel movements for two days. He must be happy as a little girl.
happy as a little girl that just pooped after 5 days of waiting
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:32 PM   #325
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 

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Originally Posted by loochy View Post
?

yeah we did
Really? Glad I missed that post
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:35 PM   #326
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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The phrase "tangy asshole" also entered the lexicon.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:37 PM   #327
loochy loochy is offline
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Really? Glad I missed that post
miss no more my friend

its right here:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post

Image: Not Safe for Work
NSFW Image
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:38 PM   #328
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 

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Originally Posted by loochy View Post
miss no more my friend

its right here:
Uhhhhh... Do I or don't I...
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:39 PM   #329
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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No way am I opening that picture
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BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.BlackHelicopters is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-21-2014, 01:40 PM   #330
loochy loochy is offline
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Quote:
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Uhhhhh... Do I or don't I...
its pretty big, but its not as big as i expected
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