ChiefsPlanet 2013 Douche of the Year Poll - Round 1 - The KCChiefsFan 50/50 Region - Page 10

Frazod · 01:51 PM

Looks like The Tom Cash Region is pretty much decided at this point, and I can't wait to get this Battle Royale started. Holy crap, finding a douche in this group is like looking for a needle in a pile of needles.

Field of 15 - Top 4 advance to the Douchy Not-So-Sweet 16. Vote for as many douches as you'd like.

The poll will close in 24 hours.

Let's get it on!

ADVANCING TO ROUND TWO
Peyton'sPrincess (Hootie)
Setsuna
InMem58
KC native

lcarus · 04-13-2013, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

well in fairness it would have ended at 11 PM CST because that's when I'm getting off work and going directly to the bars where all of the hot 21 year olds have their moms with them tonight

I am so revved up I've downed 4 red bulls, 2 more red bulls, and have done about 19 key bumps of cocaine

Thanks. No, I mean it. You've inspired me. I'm gonna get off my lazy ass tonight and drive around aimlessly. I'm gonna pretend like I'm on the prowl. Hell who knows, maybe I'll stop in at Walmart and find the girls that are wearing glitter and blue high heels. You just know that any girl ruffling through the $5 dvd bargain bin sporting blue high heels at midnight is easy.

Shit...I'll probably get shot down still. I'll likely end up like I normally do on Saturday nights. With a handful of the alternate reality version of my son or daughter had I been a little more douchey to the girl at Walmart.

Hootie · 04-13-2013, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNR

You are a shitbag kid all joking aside~

which part was the joke?

**RNR** · 04-13-2013, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

which part was the joke?

The fact you do not realize what a pathetic clown you are is amazing~

ThaVirus · 04-13-2013, 09:42 PM

Yeah, the Hootie rape routine is still pretty funny to me. Particularly these two:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

my mom was smart

she used to sprinkle very small increments in my cereal every morning when I was younger...increasing the amounts as my tolerance built

now I'm completely immune to them so when I roofie a drink I can do the "see, look...it's fine" trick to a girl when buying/giving her a drink

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

I used to lube up my condoms with liquid GHB just so even when they consented I'd still get them to pass out halfway through...

I can't finish unless the bitch is passed out.

Then again, I'm an immature little boy so there's that.

lcarus · 04-13-2013, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNR

The fact you do not realize what a pathetic clown you are is amazing~

He does.

Hootie · 04-13-2013, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcarus

Thanks. No, I mean it. You've inspired me. I'm gonna get off my lazy ass tonight and drive around aimlessly. I'm gonna pretend like I'm on the prowl. Hell who knows, maybe I'll stop in at Walmart and find the girls that are wearing glitter and blue high heels. You just know that any girl ruffling through the $5 dvd bargain bin sporting blue high heels at midnight is easy.

Shit...I'll probably get shot down still. I'll likely end up like I normally do on Saturday nights. With a handful of the alternate reality version of my son or daughter had I been a little more douchey to the girl at Walmart.

I just go to campus bars and tell girls I'm a hand model or find girls that are 6' tall and stand next to them and puff out my chest and tell them I'm the only guy in the bar taller than they are so they should probably hook up with me

or I stick my finger in their drink and taste it and then give them a nod and tell them good choice...they really like that one

that's a variation of the grab, dip, lick (GDL) I had to retire...

grab a girl (usually in an appropriate place or they get really mad, or excited...depends on the girl), dip a finger or two in their drink...and lick

that one had to be retired...lot of problems with that one

or once you get in with a girl...they really like the move when a guy walks by...I grab his butt cheeks...and then he immediately looks back and I VIGOROUSLY point at the girl standing next to me...that one actually landed me my last girlfriend

so I wouldn't suggest the GDL but if you can engage the girl try the butt cheek squeeze and vigorous point...that one is good, but has also gotten me banned from an older (my age) people bar because apparently it's more suitable for the 19-22 year old age range and not the 25-35 year old age range

**Lumpy** · 04-13-2013, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

also

anyone who takes the Internet so seriously where something some random person says hurts their feelings in some way is a pussy

also

if you don't like what two strong dudes talk about late at night in a douche bag thread where they were both nominated as douche bags...then I suggest you stop frequenting sites that are primarily men

because men like to talk about roofies sometimes

roofies, beer, taco via, and Mad Men

that's all I ever talk about really

Tell that to the men on here who have had their wives, girlfriends or daughters raped. If you're an insensitive piece of shit like this in RL, I have no doubt that you will piss off the wrong person one of these days and get your ass kicked.

As far as me taking the internet seriously, I don't. Talk about whatever, that's cool, but when you brag about raping women, you look like a mentally unstable, ****stick.

And another thing, bitch, I can be a part of this site if I ****ing well please. If you want to try to run me off, you're going to need to tuck in your meat flaps and stop being such a **** with your insults.

lcarus · 04-13-2013, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

I just go to campus bars and tell girls I'm a hand model or find girls that are 6' tall and stand next to them and puff out my chest and tell them I'm the only guy in the bar taller than they are so they should probably hook up with me

or I stick my finger in their drink and taste it and then give them a nod and tell them good choice...they really like that one

that's a variation of the grab, dip, lick (GDL) I had to retire...

grab a girl (usually in an appropriate place or they get really mad, or excited...depends on the girl), dip a finger or two in their drink...and lick

that one had to be retired...lot of problems with that one

or once you get in with a girl...they really like the move when a guy walks by...I grab his butt cheeks...and then he immediately looks back and I VIGOROUSLY point at the girl standing next to me...that one actually landed me my last girlfriend

so I wouldn't suggest the GDL but if you can engage the girl try the butt cheek squeeze and vigorous point...that one is good, but has also gotten me banned from an older (my age) people bar because apparently it's more suitable for the 19-22 year old age range and not the 25-35 year old age range

Soooo....if I take any of this advice and apply it to the girl at Walmart tonight, I'm likely gonna end up getting thrown out and pleasuring myself to Nazareth "Love Hurts" at 1 am? I guess I just don't have the moves!

ThaVirus · 04-13-2013, 09:48 PM

Aww shit.

**RealSNR** · 04-13-2013, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peyton's Princess

besides

I figured this time around instead of defending myself against ridiculous rape allegations from a story I told that had no implications of rape whatsoever

instead of defending myself

I would just embrace it.

SNR made rape cool. I've always wanted to be cool. Thanks, SNR.

*nods*

I'm the Beethoven of rape

Hootie · 04-13-2013, 09:49 PM

or when a girl walks by back up aggressively and then when you back into her...

look at her and give her the "what the ****?" look and then go back to the bar and pretend like she was at fault

that one has never worked in the history of the world but I like that one

or I karaoke to Stay by Lisa Loeb and then walk around with the mic and hump every girl I can find until the song is over...mixed reactions on that one

OH ALL TIME FAVORITE

this requires being very drunk and again, it's not a fan favorite and it usually results in ejection if not at a home team bar (bar I have immunity at; they exist; I tip well)...

walk up behind a girl...it helps if she knows you because this one gets very, very, very mixed results...but my ex and her friends...this was their favorite...

walk up behind a girl sitting down...this is best with a polo or t-shirt...make sure she has no idea you are coming up behind her...hell she can be standing up if she's short enough...

and then do a jump and pull the bottom of your shirt out and then jump over her with your t-shirt so she's just inside of your shirt...only hold for 1 second or less or they get REALLY mad...

that one is a fan favorite for my friends...but usually the girl, unless she has a psychotically dry sense of humor, usually the girl doesn't respond very well to it

Hootie · 04-13-2013, 09:54 PM

basically all of these moves cater to making my friends laugh...

but this is why my last 3 girlfriends have all been the same girl, my friends call them Rick girls, because they all fit the same personality

girls who get super, sloppy drunk; girls who don't care about anything and never get offended; girls who let me do whatever I want when I'm out and think it's funny

my girlfriend was really mad at me one time when I was getting booted from a bar and people started cheering and she had to walk out to the walk of shame like "yeah...that's my boyfriend..."

I heard about that one for a few days.

or the time I was SO drunk she ditched me at my apartment...so when I was stumbling back to her place (we lived two blocks away)...I missed it by a block and went to "her room" only I was a block short in "her house" only it wasn't her house...

I woke up at like 6 AM and looked around "her room" (not her room) and was like wtf? So I walked downstairs in "her house" (again, not her hourse) and some dude was on the couch...

I was like..."sup bro...why are you sleeping on the couch?" And he was like "because you were in my bed." I was like "oh, lol!"

Yeah. That was bad. Hahaha. My friends and her looked for me for like 4 hours and just assumed I was dead, or hooking up with another girl...but most likely dead. They thought that one was really funny.

I'd like to say that happened a while back but that one was literally about 4 months ago.

lcarus · 04-13-2013, 09:54 PM

Ok. I've heard enough. I think I am now ready to battle with the skanks of Walmart. I'm heading out. I bid you adieu, gentlemen. I shall return with tales of battle at 1 am CST.

I just need to keep this song in my head at all times, and I might do well.

Hootie · 04-13-2013, 09:55 PM

the dude was like "I just figured you were my roommates friend and he told you to pass out in my bed"...

Frazod · 04-13-2013, 10:18 PM

Sometimes I feel sorry for Pootie. The biggest stud in Texas, propping himself up to win a douche contest on the internet at 11:00 on a Saturday night. What's wrong with this picture?

If he ever actually becomes self-aware, I fear he'll instantly throw himself in front of the nearest bus.

It would probably be for the best, though.

View Poll Results: DOTY Round 1 - The KCChiefsFan 50/50 Region
Peyton'sPrincess (Hootie)	47	37.60%
COchief	22	17.60%
Thatguy	30	24.00%
Setsuna	45	36.00%
KC native	31	24.80%
Frankie	43	34.40%
DaKCMan	25	20.00%
Direckshun	29	23.20%
Doctor Facebook Fever (Beerme)	29	23.20%
Houstonwhodat	31	24.80%
Icarus	5	4.00%
InMem58	32	25.60%
JASONSAUTO	14	11.20%
Kaepernick	25	20.00%
Kaylore	17	13.60%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 125. You may not vote on this poll

04-13-2013, 04:49 PM
Frazod WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $3215085	2013 Douche of the Year Poll - Round 1 - The KCChiefsFan 50/50 Region Looks like The Tom Cash Region is pretty much decided at this point, and I can't wait to get this Battle Royale started. Holy crap, finding a douche in this group is like looking for a needle in a pile of needles. Field of 15 - Top 4 advance to the Douchy Not-So-Sweet 16. Vote for as many douches as you'd like. The poll will close in 24 hours. Let's get it on! ADVANCING TO ROUND TWO Peyton'sPrincess (Hootie) Setsuna InMem58 KC native Last edited by Frazod; 04-16-2013 at 01:51 PM..
Posts: 119,482

04-13-2013, 09:48 PM	#144
ThaVirus Settle this once and forever Join Date: Sep 2007 Casino cash: $2172369	Aww shit.
Posts: 44,146

04-13-2013, 09:49 PM	#146
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	or when a girl walks by back up aggressively and then when you back into her... look at her and give her the "what the ****?" look and then go back to the bar and pretend like she was at fault that one has never worked in the history of the world but I like that one or I karaoke to Stay by Lisa Loeb and then walk around with the mic and hump every girl I can find until the song is over...mixed reactions on that one OH ALL TIME FAVORITE this requires being very drunk and again, it's not a fan favorite and it usually results in ejection if not at a home team bar (bar I have immunity at; they exist; I tip well)... walk up behind a girl...it helps if she knows you because this one gets very, very, very mixed results...but my ex and her friends...this was their favorite... walk up behind a girl sitting down...this is best with a polo or t-shirt...make sure she has no idea you are coming up behind her...hell she can be standing up if she's short enough... and then do a jump and pull the bottom of your shirt out and then jump over her with your t-shirt so she's just inside of your shirt...only hold for 1 second or less or they get REALLY mad... that one is a fan favorite for my friends...but usually the girl, unless she has a psychotically dry sense of humor, usually the girl doesn't respond very well to it
Posts: 56,356

04-13-2013, 09:54 PM	#147
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	basically all of these moves cater to making my friends laugh... but this is why my last 3 girlfriends have all been the same girl, my friends call them Rick girls, because they all fit the same personality girls who get super, sloppy drunk; girls who don't care about anything and never get offended; girls who let me do whatever I want when I'm out and think it's funny my girlfriend was really mad at me one time when I was getting booted from a bar and people started cheering and she had to walk out to the walk of shame like "yeah...that's my boyfriend..." I heard about that one for a few days. or the time I was SO drunk she ditched me at my apartment...so when I was stumbling back to her place (we lived two blocks away)...I missed it by a block and went to "her room" only I was a block short in "her house" only it wasn't her house... I woke up at like 6 AM and looked around "her room" (not her room) and was like wtf? So I walked downstairs in "her house" (again, not her hourse) and some dude was on the couch... I was like..."sup bro...why are you sleeping on the couch?" And he was like "because you were in my bed." I was like "oh, lol!" Yeah. That was bad. Hahaha. My friends and her looked for me for like 4 hours and just assumed I was dead, or hooking up with another girl...but most likely dead. They thought that one was really funny. I'd like to say that happened a while back but that one was literally about 4 months ago.
Posts: 56,356

04-13-2013, 09:54 PM	#148
lcarus Everybody Lies. Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Casino cash: $1949928	Ok. I've heard enough. I think I am now ready to battle with the skanks of Walmart. I'm heading out. I bid you adieu, gentlemen. I shall return with tales of battle at 1 am CST. I just need to keep this song in my head at all times, and I might do well.
Posts: 17,331

04-13-2013, 09:55 PM	#149
Hootie Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Dallas, Texas Casino cash: $10004900	the dude was like "I just figured you were my roommates friend and he told you to pass out in my bed"...
Posts: 56,356

04-13-2013, 10:18 PM	#150
Frazod WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $3215085	Sometimes I feel sorry for Pootie. The biggest stud in Texas, propping himself up to win a douche contest on the internet at 11:00 on a Saturday night. What's wrong with this picture? If he ever actually becomes self-aware, I fear he'll instantly throw himself in front of the nearest bus. It would probably be for the best, though.
Posts: 119,482