GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

[Pushead2]

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?

[MOhillbilly]

ahhh funny

[acarter25]

Didn't read all the pages, but if she told you she wants it to be done, show her what it's like. Be distant with her and don't let her see that it bothers you too much. If you just keep stickin around pourin out to her she won't realize anything about her own feelings. Get out and try to have fun and get your mind off it, if the distance doesn't bring her back, nothing will and it will end up being a good thing either way. Hang in there.

[Sure-Oz]

Goodluck...if it's meant to be it will happen. Just leave her alone and do you. Independence is your best friend here, no games just focus on what you have control over. the feelings of wanting her back dont have to be ignored, be strong.

Seperation can be a good thing, trust me, you'll find out even more why you may have loved her and vice versa. If it doesn't work out you did your thing and moved forward.

[Over-Head]

Originally Posted by JD10367

If a man on this board said, "I love reading women's insight into the male mind", you'd probably call him an idiotic misogynistic neanderthal. Just saying.

No that would be Meme, Luv would just say "i'm confused"

[Over-Head]

Originally Posted by Brock

I hide nothing from my significant other. There is no reason to. Believe it or don't, but it's the only way you have true intimacy with anyone.

Give me a reason why anything should be hidden.

THIS

[Over-Head]

Originally Posted by Phobia

Yeah. No doubt. Infidelity leaves the jilted party with trust issues and unresolved anger - years later. But, I don't really know too much about that.

I do, the ex still hates me

[Pushead2]

Originally Posted by Donger

Not to be indelicate, but have you considered that perhaps her egg head world now doesn't mesh well with a hockey player-type?

She sited that we were too different, her answer in the end was that I wasn't the one. She thought I was but I'm not & she it's not fair to get me to be someone I'm not.

[Pushead2]

Originally Posted by Comanche

You can't hang out with her while she is doing those things?



But you said you aren't away much with hockey, correct?



You didn't explain what she meant by "making me try to be someone I wasn't." How did she try to make you into someone you aren't?

Both comments still seem very cliche'. It still seems that there is missing information here. . .

There was no hanging out, I would watch TV while she grades papers. They are essays since she is going for PhD in English. Wouldn't go out like we used to either on Saturday nights, it's evident now that she was just pushing me aside.

Most of my hockey games are within an hours drive here in NYC & my home games are in Manhattan itself...., when we travel it's maybe once a month for Friday & Sat back for Sun type of ordeal so she was down for it.....

Because we were very different she was trying to make me more into her interests & stuff. No doubt we were different, but opposites attract & that certainly was the case for me. Examples are she liked to try new things in everything as where I'm a bit more skeptical to try. Eating healthy is something she's big on that I do 50% of the time. But I exercise like crazy because of hockey & she's big on exercising. Etc etc.

[Pushead2]

Once again too, i know a few people read I'm going for my degree but I'm not 21 & 22. I know LUV asked how young I was to had a few relationships. I'm 26.

It sucks, 26 & restarting. She'll be 28 & restarting. I feel a bit better about the whole situation. if she comes back great & if not great too.....

I won't do it because I'm not ready but I know for a fact there are two or three girls that would like to go out with me. So I know the grass is greener on the other side.

I appreciate all the love & support. I really mean that & the fresh ideas everyone has expressed have been helpful. It's time to shake it off & make 2011 go from a bad start to better start & even better finish.

Originally Posted by Pushead2

She sited that we were too different, her answer in the end was that I wasn't the one. She thought I was but I'm not & she it's not fair to get me to be someone I'm not.

Did you have a good time for 3 years? Did you learn and grow from this relationship? Has it helped you narrow the dynamics relating to the personality of a gal with whom you would want to spend the rest of your life? Has this relationship left you scarred, hating women, needing a lawyer, paying child or spousal support, or missing half of your worldly possessions?

Frankly, it sounds like you had a great time dude. It hurts, yeah but this one will pass fast. You'll have fond memories of this gal in no time at all. Now, live your life and when the one shows up you'll be in a better spot.

[Pushead2]

Originally Posted by Phobia

Did you have a good time for 3 years? Did you learn and grow from this relationship? Has it helped you narrow the dynamics relating to the personality of a gal with whom you would want to spend the rest of your life? Has this relationship left you scarred, hating women, needing a lawyer, paying child or spousal support, or missing half of your worldly possessions?

Frankly, it sounds like you had a great time dude. It hurts, yeah but this one will pass fast. You'll have fond memories of this gal in no time at all. Now, live your life and when the one shows up you'll be in a better spot.

Oh yeah to the memories, some of the best of my life. The best trip of my life to New Orleans was with her, it was fantastic it was for our 2 year anniversary.

Definitely not scarred by no means, we did have a great time......it does hurt but I got to be strong & be ready to move on in life.

There are things I need to address in my life & straighten out. This is my time to shine & do it.

[Ming the Merciless]

Originally Posted by Pushead2

There are things I need to address in my life & straighten out. This is my time to shine & do it.

**** yah brother.

If she calls, tell her youre doing fine...and hang up. Period. Hit the gym daily.

You got this.

[beach tribe]

I'm really sorry to hear this bro. These things can be HARD. Whatever you do don't bitch up. Don't beg and whine. Be strong my friend.

Nice, but firm. Be accepting of the things she has said, but don't say you're gonna change.
Be self sufficient. Do not blow up her phone.

The more you try to pull her back to you, the further you will push her away. It's 50/50 right now IMO.

If it doesn't work out in the end. I'm really sorry, but we've all been there.
I know I wanted to die as I laid face first in the carpet for about a month, and carried the pain for what seemed like forever.
That taught me a lot, but I'm not going to lie. It still stings 9 years later. The wounds heal but the scars never go away.
I don't sweat it though......






cause my new GF is WAY HOTTER, and is into more of the same shit that I am.
Old GF used to give me shit about my Chiefs addiction. This GF buys me an Eric Berry jersey, and herself a little tight pink #7. Oh man I grab her by her ass, and throw he on the bed then I....*ahem*..... sorry.



Seriously though, its not the end of the world, even though it feels like it.

OK here comes the REALLY hard part. I'm not doing this to hurt you, but I know women.

99% chance she's met someone. And if you guys are under 25 like I think you are. This is probably the best thing that ever happened to you. If you were ready to break out the ring, her doing this now IS the best thing you could've hoped for. Live your life dude. By your own rules. Do what YOU want to do. Bang some strange.

And just as a word of advice, make sure you've survived something seriously straining, and came out of it stronger before you break out the finger cuff.

[Pushead2]

Originally Posted by Pawnmower

**** yah brother.

If she calls, tell her youre doing fine...and hang up. Period. Hit the gym daily.

You got this.

yeah, last few days since we were best friends too we've been supportive of each other. it's been odd to tell you the truth but last night I told her it's time to cease....She's been way more hysterical than I am, she has the impression I'm destroyed, which I am, but it's not lasting long. Within a couple of weeks I'll be just fine I feel it.

I go to the gym daily now brother! I got to stay in shape for hockey.

[beach tribe]

Originally Posted by Pushead2

There was no hanging out, I would watch TV while she grades papers. They are essays since she is going for PhD in English. Wouldn't go out like we used to either on Saturday nights, it's evident now that she was just pushing me aside.

Most of my hockey games are within an hours drive here in NYC & my home games are in Manhattan itself...., when we travel it's maybe once a month for Friday & Sat back for Sun type of ordeal so she was down for it.....

Because we were very different she was trying to make me more into her interests & stuff. No doubt we were different, but opposites attract & that certainly was the case for me. Examples are she liked to try new things in everything as where I'm a bit more skeptical to try. Eating healthy is something she's big on that I do 50% of the time. But I exercise like crazy because of hockey & she's big on exercising. Etc etc.

This honestly sounds like typical man/women things. Men, and women are never going to be interested in exactly the same things. You humor the on most, and stand by what you want on others. the whole Compromise thing.
Some chicks are spoiled, and cannot handle these things.

And I hate to do this again, but she's been talking to someone, and that someone doesn't wear a skirt. I would bet anything on it.
Cut bait, and find a new one. Or try out a few new ones. This one's not going to compromise, she has been compromised. A girl will try to change you till the end of time, unless she thinks she's found someone who is made of more pliable clay. All the things she is saying now, is creating the space she needs to not feel guilty about what she is doing/going to do. I'm really sorry man.

Just be nice, and let her go. Just let her go. It's not your fault. She's not a liar or a bitch, or slut. These things happen to young people. They just do.