Life What's your best sex story? - Page 6

KCrockaholic · 01-26-2019, 08:30 PM

I know we're all a bunch of old ass men on here (I'm 28) with bald heads and goatees, but surely some of you have cool stories to tell about something wild that happened in your life sexually.

For me, I've had sex in the trunk of a car, outside next to coyotes howling, at the mall, at work (many many times). I could go into details, but I want YOUR details.

GO!

IowaChiefs83 · 01-27-2019, 10:10 PM

I saw boobies once.

cooper barrett · 01-27-2019, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IowaChiefs83

I saw boobies once.

I saw a girl with 3 boobies once. It was an Applebee's/ Chili's kind of place in Columbus OH. during happy hour and she was proud to show them to me, right at the bar. I thought my buddy was going to cum in his jeans

I was at Blue Moose in PV on a Saturday afternoon and 2 gals pulled their sweaters off and wanted opinions on who's new bolt ons were better. I was afraid my GF was going to get weird on me but she didn't.

scho63 · 01-28-2019, 09:40 AM

I've been very fortunate to have had met some wonderful woman and eventually had sex on vacations when younger meeting woman from all over; Cuban in Havana, Brazilian in Rio, New Zealand hottie in Fiji (she sadly died in her 40's from cancer), Chinese in Beijing and an Australian in Australia.

I never slept with any hotties in Germany, Italy or Amsterdam.

The best sex story I've ever had was when the Playboy Casino in Atlantic City sent two women to my room after I won close to $15,000. I needed to get some sleep as I worked nights in the newspaper business as a pressmen and had driven there straight from North NJ after working a few back to back shifts.

They asked me what I needed and I said a simple room with a clean bed for a few hours to sleep as I was exhausted. They asked me did I need anything else; food, drinks, tickets to a show and I jokingly said "no I'm all good but you can send up a couple of hot women." The guy grinned and said if that's what you want it will be taken care of.

I said sure thinking he was bullshitting me but after taking a shower and starting to fall asleep there was a knock on the door and two pretty damn hot women were there for me courtesy of the hotel. All I did was tip them after we were done.

I was pretty nervous at first but once the clothes came off I lost my inhibitions.

Definitely a worthwhile adventure!

scho63 · 01-28-2019, 09:45 AM

The best sex story I have with me NOT getting laid was that I fixed up Wade Boggs the night the 7th game of the 1986 World Series was cancelled due to rain and he was at the NY Club called Heartbreak. He was with Spike Owen and Marty Barrett and also Tom Cruise and Cher were there that night.

A hot blonde was dancing all night with me and my buddy and I kept telling her how great a baseball player Wade Boggs was. She never heard of him.

Then at the end of the night when me and my drunken 4 friends were all getting into our limo, he got into a cab with her! My friend never forgives me for giving away a hot blonde.

rtmike · 01-28-2019, 10:20 AM

I had an on-off girlfriend.
I was out of town working so she thought she’d surprise me by buying satin sheets for my water bed. All installed.
Well I got home early and went out and hooked up with my ex. I was still in love with her.
I took her to my place, done the deed.
Well the gf shows while the ex is here but only knocks and leaves.

Ex leaves and current shows up.
She went down on me right away and all I thought was, “oh shit, oh shit they same women can smell other women right away.” Nothing, lol.

She later turned lesbian, lol.

cooper barrett · 01-28-2019, 11:32 AM

Some stories are of the "Pictures or it didn't happen" variety.

Other's were simply overlooked but were probably discreetly listed on the detailed statement when checking out from the hotel.

**Iowanian** · 01-28-2019, 11:54 AM

About a month ago I was checking tinder and had a unique match and you can bet your ass I swiped right. It was your girlfriend.

It turns out you never listen to her and she is an aspiring rapper who wanted me to call her by her stage name...the Notorious P.I.G. Tuesday morning I met her at a reasonably priced location that I hoped didn't have bed bugs. We shared a couple of Busch Lights and talked about her love of the Broncos before she flopped in the bathtub of instant mashed potatoes she warmed in the microwave a box at a time. Upon her request and after she paid me, I dumped a couple of boxes of generic beef gravy on her while she made squealing noises as I used a set of vintage ringing pliers to embed a couple of rings in her nose. I barfed on the floor and left feeling unsatisfied.

ChiefBlueCFC · 01-28-2019, 11:58 AM

if i peruse the nsfw threads on here does that count as sex

BIG_DADDY · 01-28-2019, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

About a month ago I was checking tinder and had a unique match and you can bet your ass I swiped right. It was your girlfriend.

It turns out you never listen to her and she is an aspiring rapper who wanted me to call her by her stage name...the Notorious P.I.G. Tuesday morning I met her at a reasonably priced location that I hoped didn't have bed bugs. We shared a couple of Busch Lights and talked about her love of the Broncos before she flopped in the bathtub of instant mashed potatoes she warmed in the microwave a box at a time. Upon her request and after she paid me, I dumped a couple of boxes of generic beef gravy on her while she made squealing noises as I used a set of vintage ringing pliers to embed a couple of rings in her nose. I barfed on the floor and left feeling unsatisfied.

**loochy** · 01-28-2019, 12:23 PM

Chief Roundup · 01-28-2019, 12:37 PM

Before I was married I loved to have sex with married women. I viewed them as the best **** buddies. They didn't tell, they didn't swell. If they did swell they wouldn't tell so oh well.
Make sure that her husband is actually out of town when using her house and bed. Husband will approach from behind with a gun and try to shoot you. Even grazes remove tissue and hair.
If you get into a fight with him make sure he doesn't have a knife. He will try and stab you in the dick and ball region when you are over the top of him.
Living in a smallish town there are few judges. So when you have to go in front of the Judge about these situations in less than a years time the Judge will give you some advice. It is best to follow his advice.

Titty Meat · 01-28-2019, 12:39 PM

****ing your mom in her ass

Chief Roundup · 01-28-2019, 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

So whos head was in the sand ass up? Hope it wasn't you for your sake.

BryanBusby · 01-28-2019, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threebag02

I ****ed 5 different chicks in a day one of them twice.

That never happened. Virgin.

**loochy** · 01-28-2019, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Roundup

So whos head was in the sand ass up? Hope it wasn't you for your sake.

not sand...thousand island dressing

you've never lived until you've experienced asphyxiation via midgets and thousand island dressing

01-26-2019, 08:30 PM
KCrockaholic Sarcasm Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Olathe Casino cash: $4792900	What's your best sex story? I know we're all a bunch of old ass men on here (I'm 28) with bald heads and goatees, but surely some of you have cool stories to tell about something wild that happened in your life sexually. For me, I've had sex in the trunk of a car, outside next to coyotes howling, at the mall, at work (many many times). I could go into details, but I want YOUR details. GO!
Posts: 21,133

01-27-2019, 10:10 PM	#76
IowaChiefs83 Starter Join Date: Apr 2013 Casino cash: $10005607	I saw boobies once.
Posts: 158

01-28-2019, 09:40 AM	#78
scho63 Politically Incorrect Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Scottsdale, AZ Casino cash: $2811110	I've been very fortunate to have had met some wonderful woman and eventually had sex on vacations when younger meeting woman from all over; Cuban in Havana, Brazilian in Rio, New Zealand hottie in Fiji (she sadly died in her 40's from cancer), Chinese in Beijing and an Australian in Australia. I never slept with any hotties in Germany, Italy or Amsterdam. The best sex story I've ever had was when the Playboy Casino in Atlantic City sent two women to my room after I won close to $15,000. I needed to get some sleep as I worked nights in the newspaper business as a pressmen and had driven there straight from North NJ after working a few back to back shifts. They asked me what I needed and I said a simple room with a clean bed for a few hours to sleep as I was exhausted. They asked me did I need anything else; food, drinks, tickets to a show and I jokingly said "no I'm all good but you can send up a couple of hot women." The guy grinned and said if that's what you want it will be taken care of. I said sure thinking he was bullshitting me but after taking a shower and starting to fall asleep there was a knock on the door and two pretty damn hot women were there for me courtesy of the hotel. All I did was tip them after we were done. I was pretty nervous at first but once the clothes came off I lost my inhibitions. Definitely a worthwhile adventure! __________________ *"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"* ~Redd Foxx~ ~~2018 2019 2020 20212022 2023~~ 2024 Adopt a Chief - Clark Hunt and Brett Veach "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes"
Posts: 50,425

01-28-2019, 09:45 AM	#79
scho63 Politically Incorrect Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Scottsdale, AZ Casino cash: $2811110	The best sex story I have with me NOT getting laid was that I fixed up Wade Boggs the night the 7th game of the 1986 World Series was cancelled due to rain and he was at the NY Club called Heartbreak. He was with Spike Owen and Marty Barrett and also Tom Cruise and Cher were there that night. A hot blonde was dancing all night with me and my buddy and I kept telling her how great a baseball player Wade Boggs was. She never heard of him. Then at the end of the night when me and my drunken 4 friends were all getting into our limo, he got into a cab with her! My friend never forgives me for giving away a hot blonde. __________________ *"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"* ~Redd Foxx~ ~~2018 2019 2020 20212022 2023~~ 2024 Adopt a Chief - Clark Hunt and Brett Veach "The men who drafted Patrick Mahomes"
Posts: 50,425

01-28-2019, 10:20 AM	#80
rtmike union paraplegic organizer Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: western Kansas Casino cash: $9094600	I had an on-off girlfriend. I was out of town working so she thought she’d surprise me by buying satin sheets for my water bed. All installed. Well I got home early and went out and hooked up with my ex. I was still in love with her. I took her to my place, done the deed. Well the gf shows while the ex is here but only knocks and leaves. Ex leaves and current shows up. She went down on me right away and all I thought was, “oh shit, oh shit they same women can smell other women right away.” Nothing, lol. She later turned lesbian, lol. __________________ I like to sleep For I'm walking in my dreams. Live life like every DAY is your last!
Posts: 3,097

01-28-2019, 11:32 AM	#81
cooper barrett MVP Join Date: Aug 2017 Casino cash: $10000400	Some stories are of the "Pictures or it didn't happen" variety. Other's were simply overlooked but were probably discreetly listed on the detailed statement when checking out from the hotel. __________________
Posts: 13,669

01-28-2019, 11:54 AM	#82
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4788454	About a month ago I was checking tinder and had a unique match and you can bet your ass I swiped right. It was your girlfriend. It turns out you never listen to her and she is an aspiring rapper who wanted me to call her by her stage name...the Notorious P.I.G. Tuesday morning I met her at a reasonably priced location that I hoped didn't have bed bugs. We shared a couple of Busch Lights and talked about her love of the Broncos before she flopped in the bathtub of instant mashed potatoes she warmed in the microwave a box at a time. Upon her request and after she paid me, I dumped a couple of boxes of generic beef gravy on her while she made squealing noises as I used a set of vintage ringing pliers to embed a couple of rings in her nose. I barfed on the floor and left feeling unsatisfied.
Posts: 61,520	1 0

01-28-2019, 11:58 AM	#83
ChiefBlueCFC Veteran Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: KCMO BABY Casino cash: $8070410	if i peruse the nsfw threads on here does that count as sex __________________ WE FIRED BOB SUTTON
Posts: 2,728

01-28-2019, 12:23 PM	#85
loochy Hey Loochy, I'm hooome! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire Casino cash: $2180752
Posts: 40,446

01-28-2019, 12:37 PM	#86
Chief Roundup Admitted Planet Junky Join Date: Oct 2000 Casino cash: $2101627	Before I was married I loved to have sex with married women. I viewed them as the best **** buddies. They didn't tell, they didn't swell. If they did swell they wouldn't tell so oh well. Make sure that her husband is actually out of town when using her house and bed. Husband will approach from behind with a gun and try to shoot you. Even grazes remove tissue and hair. If you get into a fight with him make sure he doesn't have a knife. He will try and stab you in the dick and ball region when you are over the top of him. Living in a smallish town there are few judges. So when you have to go in front of the Judge about these situations in less than a years time the Judge will give you some advice. It is best to follow his advice. __________________ Fanaticism is nowhere. There is no tenderness or humanity in fanaticism.
Posts: 19,195

01-28-2019, 12:39 PM	#87
Titty Meat Inmem 2.0 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: My house Casino cash: $2317558	****ing your mom in her ass
Posts: 75,046