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Reload this Page Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 6 Championship Match - kysirsoze versus Bwana
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View Poll Results: Who wins?
kysirsoze 11 27.50%
Bwana 29 72.50%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-15-2018, 01:47 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 6 Championship Match - kysirsoze versus Bwana
This is it. The long-awaited championship match. One of these two combatants will lift the coveted Chiefsplanet Gladiatorial trophy.

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.


Venue - Backstage at the Broadway production of*Madison (actors and staff present)
Starting Distance - 99 feet

kysirsoze

Main Weapon - Battle Axe
Backup Weapon - Bo Staff

Prep Time - 2 Minutes
Special Factors - You were kneed in the groin three times by actress Jennifer Lawrence at time t= -5 seconds, right after she was told that she's paid less than her male costars.

Bwana

Main Weapon - Two Handed Sword
Backup Weapon - A loop of piano wire with handles and a loud shrill whistle

Prep Time - 7 Minutes
Special Factors - Any people who might be present (other than an audience) believe you are the villain
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Old 09-15-2018, 10:41 PM   #16
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!!
 
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Originally Posted by Easy 6 View Post
Nothing says macho like touring with Bon Jovi

Wait...
Jesus Christ...

I know I'm up against CP's resident Bill Brasky here, but a couple dozen meathead dudes from the Bronx who lift heavy objects all day for a living would ****ing destroy Bwana by themselves, sword or no sword. This match was over before voting started, but don't act like it's due to sound argument.
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Old 09-15-2018, 10:52 PM   #17
TomBarndtsTwin TomBarndtsTwin is offline
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As Ky is kneeling and writhing in pain from the nut crunch, Bwana charges with his sword and just as the stage hands and other random people are set to intervene as good samaritans on the behalf of Ky and topple the mighty Bwana, he suddenly stops a few feet in front of Ky, pulls out his super shrill whistle and blows it with all his might. This causes many spectators/interveners to suddenly freeze, some in agony, many in confusion, not sure what is actually happening now. This is enough of a distraction for Bwana to drop the whistle, put his other now firmly on the sword and quickly move the last few feet for the killshot.

FATALITY! . . . . . . . courtesy of a decapitation.
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Old 09-15-2018, 10:59 PM   #18
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TomBarndtsTwin View Post
As Ky is kneeling and writhing in pain from the nut crunch, Bwana charges with his sword and just as the stage hands and other random people are set to intervene as good samaritans on the behalf of Ky and topple the mighty Bwana, he suddenly stops a few feet in front of Ky, pulls out his super shrill whistle and blows it with all his might. This causes many spectators/interveners to suddenly freeze, some in agony, many in confusion, not sure what is actually happening now. This is enough of a distraction for Bwana to drop the whistle, put his other now firmly on the sword and quickly move the last few feet for the killshot.

FATALITY! . . . . . . . courtesy of a decapitation.
... Like I said, CP's Bill Brasky. I particularly like how the linchpin of this plan is blowing a whistle to draw more attention from would be opponents while running 30 yards.
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Old 09-15-2018, 11:01 PM   #19
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!!
 
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All Bwana would have to do is whip his dick out. I'm pretty sure it could knock my head off at thirty yards. If not I probably die of fright/shame.
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Old 09-15-2018, 11:03 PM   #20
TomBarndtsTwin TomBarndtsTwin is offline
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Don’t be butthurt.


There can be only one . . . . . .
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Old 09-15-2018, 11:04 PM   #21
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
SNAP THE ****ING BALL!!!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TomBarndtsTwin View Post
Don’t be butthurt.


There can be only one . . . . . .

I don't even want to think about what it would do to my butt.
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Old 09-15-2018, 11:11 PM   #22
TomBarndtsTwin TomBarndtsTwin is offline
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Rumor has it that Bwana is 7 feet tall . . . . .

Can shoot fireballs from his eyes, and lightning bolts from his ass . . . . . .



(I took all of that into account for my decision)
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Old 09-15-2018, 11:12 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
Jesus Christ...

I know I'm up against CP's resident Bill Brasky here, but a couple dozen meathead dudes from the Bronx who lift heavy objects all day for a living would ****ing destroy Bwana by themselves, sword or no sword. This match was over before voting started, but don't act like it's due to sound argument.
Things are getting a little too silly now, time to get ready for bed little mister
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Old 09-16-2018, 04:12 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by Bwana View Post
Who's mult is this?
I think it's Tranny Taco John?
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:14 AM   #25
vailpass vailpass is offline
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Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
"Broadway types"? You clearly haven't been backstage at a Broadway show. Professional stage hands are not only strong as hell, they are like the most macho ****ing guys on the planet. The do nothing but snort coke and swap stories about touring with Bon Jovi. You would be ****ing mobbed in a heartbeat. I won't even have to lift my axe.
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:17 AM   #26
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Some of the backstage people are actors who will just take selfies of the battleaxe/sword fight, but some will intervene or at least throw things at the villain. I have to go with kysirsoze here.
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:22 AM   #27
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Quote:
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Some of the backstage people are actors who will just take selfies of the battleaxe/sword fight, but some will intervene or at least throw things at the villain. I have to go with kysirsoze here.
Kysir just needs to buy a little time and keep rallying people for help. None of this matters, because people are just coming into the thread and voting without considering how impactful the "villain" special factor really is.

Side note: I happen to know kysirsoze really can't stand Jennifer Lawrence. Mostly because of her public persona. For him to lose in the finals after being kneed in the groin three times by her is an ending that is right out of Game of Thrones for him.
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:34 AM   #28
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Kysir just needs to buy a little time and keep rallying people for help. None of this matters, because people are just coming into the thread and voting without considering how impactful the "villain" special factor really is.

Side note: I happen to know kysirsoze really can't stand Jennifer Lawrence. Mostly because of her public persona. For him to lose in the finals after being kneed in the groin three times by her is an ending that is right out of Game of Thrones for him.


Nard shot X 3. He is going to be completely incapacitated.
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:39 AM   #29
kysirsoze kysirsoze is offline
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#kaliforniathings
Should I tell him where Broadway is?
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Old 09-16-2018, 09:55 AM   #30
vailpass vailpass is offline
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Originally Posted by kysirsoze View Post
Should I tell him where Broadway is?
You live in L.A.

You say things like “You clearly haven’t been backstage at a broadway show” and think it sounds bad ass.

You’re crying over losing an imaginary contest that would go considerably worse for you irl.

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