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Old 12-27-2017, 01:19 AM  
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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Got em' A Demonpenz story
When I was in high school I was fat. I have been fat and somewhat not fat on and off again in my life. One of my pet peeves is when people get butt hurt that I don't eat their cake or whatever or I bring my own food if we go out to eat. I mean **** other people I am the one that has to live with my FUPA. It is that backstory that I go into this story. I love lifting weights and I love going to the gym. My body is not attractive but because I have depression I get a nice boost by working out. I used to go to hard core workout places. 24 hour fitness in KC and then places in st joseph that firefighters and such lift at. In my late 30's now I have cut back on lifting and just work out mainly for fun. I have had issues with being dizzy lifting hard so I really am like over lifting hard. I got a cheap membership at planet fitness. Planet fitness has no like squat rack or bench it is all easy ass shit for people to workout and not train. It is always annoying when they offer me a bagel or tootsie pop or some other shit when I am counting calories. I will take in 1500 calories and try to burn 200 or so on the treadmill to cut weight or at-least not gain wait. I see some fat people eating way way way more calories than they burned before they even leave. It is annoying I have to say no at a place that should be about not giving out junk food. So Saturday I get this call "Hey this is BRAD from Planet Fitness, for christmas and the holiday season we are having chocolate cake you should swing by and have some" This was on my voice mail. I was like what a ****ing joke. Planet fitness this is why people are still ****ing fat there. I texted all my buddies. "Man planet fitness is dumb they having cake, lame as hell. So I delete the voice message. I get another call "Hey just wanted to see if you were coming by to get cake because we need to know how many slices to get" by this time I was seriously pissed. Its ****ing christmas season I got enough shit on my mind why is planet fitness so obsessed with making me fat. I was thinking about what to say to the guy because I was like man calling a person two times for some bullshit like cake is a waste of my time. GTFO with your cake. So anyway I just made a mental note to let them know not to call me again and I tried to enjoy my day. Well come to find out Simply Red was the one making the calls because he knows how much I hate when planet fitness pulls some of that shit. I definately GOT GOT.
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:37 AM   #2
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:48 AM   #3
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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LOL. Well done SR. Well done.
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:56 AM   #4
St. Patty's Fire St. Patty's Fire is offline
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St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:57 AM   #5
St. Patty's Fire St. Patty's Fire is offline
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Also, this Simply Red fellow seems nice.
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St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.St. Patty's Fire is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 12-27-2017, 02:15 AM   #6
TigeRRUppeRRcut TigeRRUppeRRcut is offline
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Why u heff 2 b mad?
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TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.TigeRRUppeRRcut < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 12-27-2017, 06:53 AM   #7
Deberg_1990 Deberg_1990 is offline
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:

Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down.

One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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Old 12-27-2017, 06:54 AM   #8
ChiliConCarnage ChiliConCarnage is offline
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ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.ChiliConCarnage threw an interception on a screen pass.
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:07 AM   #9
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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tldr
Simply red, planet fitness, something or other, fat, cake
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:12 AM   #10
Why Not? Why Not? is offline
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Simply red, planet fitness, something or other, fat, cake
These may be the best cliff notes I have ever read.
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:15 AM   #11
HemiEd HemiEd is offline
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Originally Posted by Demonpenz View Post
When I was in high school I was fat. I have been fat and somewhat not fat on and off again in my life. One of my pet peeves is when people get butt hurt that I don't eat their cake or whatever or I bring my own food if we go out to eat. I mean **** other people I am the one that has to live with my FUPA. It is that backstory that I go into this story. I love lifting weights and I love going to the gym. My body is not attractive but because I have depression I get a nice boost by working out. I used to go to hard core workout places. 24 hour fitness in KC and then places in st joseph that firefighters and such lift at. In my late 30's now I have cut back on lifting and just work out mainly for fun. I have had issues with being dizzy lifting hard so I really am like over lifting hard. I got a cheap membership at planet fitness. Planet fitness has no like squat rack or bench it is all easy ass shit for people to workout and not train. It is always annoying when they offer me a bagel or tootsie pop or some other shit when I am counting calories. I will take in 1500 calories and try to burn 200 or so on the treadmill to cut weight or at-least not gain wait. I see some fat people eating way way way more calories than they burned before they even leave. It is annoying I have to say no at a place that should be about not giving out junk food. So Saturday I get this call "Hey this is BRAD from Planet Fitness, for christmas and the holiday season we are having chocolate cake you should swing by and have some" This was on my voice mail. I was like what a ****ing joke. Planet fitness this is why people are still ****ing fat there. I texted all my buddies. "Man planet fitness is dumb they having cake, lame as hell. So I delete the voice message. I get another call "Hey just wanted to see if you were coming by to get cake because we need to know how many slices to get" by this time I was seriously pissed. Its ****ing christmas season I got enough shit on my mind why is planet fitness so obsessed with making me fat. I was thinking about what to say to the guy because I was like man calling a person two times for some bullshit like cake is a waste of my time. GTFO with your cake. So anyway I just made a mental note to let them know not to call me again and I tried to enjoy my day. Well come to find out Simply Red was the one making the calls because he knows how much I hate when planet fitness pulls some of that shit. I definately GOT GOT.
That is a good one.
Yes, I was able to read the whole thing without any paragraph spacing or breaks.

I can identify with the calorie counting. Been doing it for over a year now and it can be awkward around friends. It's a life style change.

Recently at a birthday party for a neighbor this nice young lady had made cupcakes and was kind of hurt that I wouldn't eat one.
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:19 AM   #12
loochy loochy is offline
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:21 AM   #13
Rudy tossed tigger's salad Rudy tossed tigger's salad is offline
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What food do you bring to restaurants? I imagine servers get annoyed.
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:22 AM   #14
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Old 12-27-2017, 08:51 AM   #15
cabletech94 cabletech94 is offline
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thread of the year qualifier? at least honorable mention with SR making a cameo?

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Originally Posted by Big Smoke
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