I'm not expecting her to be.

She's not an 8.

Just post a ****ing picture already.

From what I've seen, Clayton is not a journalist. He's a columnist. There's a HUGE difference. Not saying one is better than the other, just that it's not accurate to describe him as a journalist.

You're correct, FMB. I'm a terrible impromptu interviewer.

More accurately still, he's a hobbyist. We hobbyists generally know when we are hobbyists or dabbling in writing. Does he?

Well, technically speaking, he's being paid for his writing. That makes him a columnist.

That doesn't make any judgment on the quality of the work.

Saddest Thread EVER.

Jesus.

http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/4...tbottlexd8.jpg

http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/935/cutiebb5.jpg

http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/9742/thetwinshp1.jpg

http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/9...dharleyak2.jpg

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/7863/65953069zr8.jpg

Hey he's a desperate man, i'm surprised he wasn't on his knees begging and pleading.

cool, she's got a dog - Goatboy, take your peanut butter, your chances are starting to look up.....

Yeah, she's about a 3. Perfect for you.

Serious question, is this Claythan guy a virgin??

I'd bet on the dog to have a better chance of licking her pu**y then you would.

for christ's sake, just send an email to every chick within 30 miles that says, "you wanna meet me tonight? no strings attached"

Serious answer: Are you a Douchebag?

You need to hit that. At least you know she's interested in you damnt. Just go lose your "special gift" and then look at hitting hotter chicks.

Beggars can't be choosers.

You're the perfect person you can help him.

Yes he is. But maybe you can tell him how to pick up girls and stuff, what to say.

Are you kidding me? I'd be scarred forever. The mental image would NEVER fade.

Claythan whats your age??

ANd dont tell her you are a virgin.

That ends it right there. You're never going to get laid. Dude you need to figure out that you're not going to lose it to an "8" or a "10". Shit...you're probably not going to lose it to a "5".

If you can lose it to her....go for it.

Oh God.....this thread could start to get interesting again. Claythan takes advice from Midnight_Douchebag.

How old is Claythan and how old is this fattie he is talking to online?

Claythan no offense but you aint getting anything better than that unless you pay for it. I have seen a pic of you.

The guy's reaction in the first picture is priceless.

ROFL

It looks like she has talent in this area, GoChiefs.

she's a moped, nothing more.

do you really need an answer to that

know why fat chicks are so good at sucking d!ck? cause they have to be.

Sorry, I have an 8.9 rating on hotornot.com. That's undeniable proof that I'm quite handsome. I'll not settle for trolls.

They're "givers." :evil:

I can pay a bum $20 to build me a house but it doesn't make him a builder. I'm not judging his work either, in fact I frequently find positive things to say about his writing. If you're being paid just enough to keep a large dog fed, you're not a professional. You're a hobbyist.

FYP

You should tap that and take pictures.....of her. lol

no, I don't - but he probably isn't aware of it....

Dude, its time you come to your senses and realize where you fall in the rank and file.

Sitting around waiting for Carrie Underwood and Jessia Simpson to fall into your lap will get you nowhere. Basically where you are now.

Sometimes its neccassary to slum just to get your jimmy wet. wake up!

I'm sure he is aware of it

personally i think he's getting his rocks off to it

No disagreement there. But being paid for it, by definition, makes you a professional.

That said, you're right. Again, no argument from me.

That doesn't change the fact that they are DAMN good at it.

THAT said... gymnasts are more fun.

You're hopeless.

Just bring a sack of flower and you'll be fine.

dude it's just like d & d

you gotta level up

I always preferred first-person shooters.

With cheat codes.

then get a 10 at the bar

and slip her a mickey

At this point in your life......you need to just lose it.

Unless you're planning on saving it for marriage....then you need to man up and lose it to this chick.

Oh, she had a boyfriend.

At least she thought I was cute.

I told her she was a giant cow.

wow

I hopes you getz a hottey who gives u that in return

Hold LEFT TRIGGER and press X, Y, B, A

Gotta love how Claythan fancies himself as a young Brad Pitt.

Holy crap!!! I just went and checked Claythan's profile to check how old he actually is...he is 26??! A 26 yr old virgin??? Bwhahahahaa

I was expecting him to be a 15 yr old kid or something. This thread just got even sadder.

Yeah Midnight, a lot of people are trying to give him dating advice.

He is his own worst enemy. Afraid to approach women.

His best days are behind him. His high school and college days are looong gone. The dude is screwed. He will definitely die a virgin...sorry Claythan.

LMAO...those were my best days alright... LMAO

So, has Claythan found a date for tonight (no, I'm not volunteering)?

****, no.

No...he's looking for anything above an 8 because and I quote "I'm a 8.9 on hotornot.com. I don't need a troll."

Haha. You really misinterpreted that statement. It was a joke, to be frank.

I have pretty low standards. But not that low. I bet you could easily find 100s of low-rated chicks on hotornot.com I'd nail. Come on, try me. And make this thread live again while you're at it.

I haven't been on hotornot in forever. I think I was a 6.3 last time.

You wanna know what sucks?

Being waited on by a BUTT UGLY waitress, who has kind of a nice ass, and thinking she's into you for an hour, and thinking about asking her what time she gets off, and then OH SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND and OH HE'S THE HUNK AT THE BAR and OH WHAT THE **** IS THAT GOOD-LOOKING STUD DOING SLUMMING WITH THIS BUTT-UGLY GIRL? STOP STEALING MY HOOD RATS, FABIO!

LMAO

Maybe all the waitresses have a deal going with the guy at the bar. They can say they're dating him whenever a patron asks them out that they don't want to go out with. Nice way to let someone down without losing a tip.

I didn't actually ask her out. She just said something about her boyfriend before I had a chance. 10 minutes later she kissed him.

dude waitresses flirt to get you to tip them

you probably think those fashion models are staring at you when they stop on the runway

you shoulda jackhammered the fatty

You just wait 'til he goes to a strip club. :D

no kidding

they'll have a field day with that

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE LONESOME LOSER

Beaten by the queen of hearts every time.

Even when she practically throws herself at him.

He's a loser but he keeps on trying.

"DUDE!!!!!!!!!! SHE SAID I WAS AWESSSOME AND WANTS ME TO COME BACK AND SEE HER AGAIN!!"

;)

<img src="http://www.southparkstuff.com/content/images/epiguid/season7/episode714.jpg">

come see me again at raisins, cutie

But from what I've read here...you are not really trying.

I've got some great advice for you if you really want to get laid.

1. Stop spending so much time here
2. Get rid of all the Star Wars stuff or put it in storage
3. Move out of your parents house if you are still there
4. Prepare yourself to fail getting laid...in other words...the word "No" will not kill you. Make yourself mentally tough. Girls can smell insecurity or a lack of confidence from miles away. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Confidence is like honey to women. If you have it, they come.
5. Be decisive....chicks love not making decisions or plans
6. Learn how to dance....this one is tough for me, but I do it. It really does not matter if you are good at it or not. 75% of women just want a man to go out on the dance floor with time.
7. Compliment a girl's features(eyes, hair, clothes, etc.) Make them melt. Be sincere though...don't BS them.
8. When you find one like or would like to keep...open doors for them, their Mom, Grandma, etc. If mom loves you, you have a free pass to the V-JJ.
9. Don't always be available...have other things or plans going on. Do your own thing no matter how much you like her. Don't just drop everything all the time for her. Girls hate doormats.
10. Remember that if things don't work out or you don't get a date...there's always 3 billion girls left in this great world.

Sincerely, I hope you take this advice to heart and that it helps you. There's no doubt in my mind that if you do, you will get laid.

You forgot to tell him to get a job. How can he move out without a job?

That's a BIG one. I just assumed....He should do that 1st! Anything else I left off? I'm sure this will be amended by about everyone here.:)

That'd be good for most people, but GoatCheese also needs to:

- not act like a tard
- don't be cocky/funny - you don't know how
- don't be picky - beggars can't be choosers
- approach as many girls as possible and don't worry about rejection, play the numbers
- peacock: wear a funny hat or a bright shirt or some weird jewelry or something. you need to stand out somehow and detract from your looks, plus it will exude confidence to wear such an item and also serve as a conversation piece.
- when you're talking to a girl look her in the eyes and maintain eye contact until she looks away but don't stare and don't scan the rest of the field while talking with her.
- smile when walking into a room - it shows confidence, makes a good first impression and attracts. when you're talking to a girl smile.

lol herzig

Seriously, last night at the bar, a chick came up to ME. We chatted for about 15 minutes and crap and then she left to go see some other dude at the back of the bar. I guess I needed to buy her a drink or something? Crap, I felt stupid. She did say she would be back to see me but nope, never did come back. I guess I was Plan B or something.

Whee!

You do not need to buy girls drinks. Especially you, since girls will likely just use you for free drinks.

She wasn't bad looking either. I felt sort of studly.

She was probably using you to make bartender jealous.

But still studless.

This thread just keeps on getting sadder and sadder by the minute.ROFL

Claythan, please tell me you at least have a place of your own? You dont still live with your parents at the tender age of 26 do you???:eek:

If you at least live on your own, thats a start but if you still live with mommy and daddy...you're offically screwed. No girl is gonna want to date you periiod.

no need to buy girls drinks. They have money.

He's scarred to get his own place.