...because there's nobody around here half as f**king nuts as he is.

Mr. FAX,

Upon reflection, I would advise you to disregard any and all advise or conjecture I rendered on the subject of gorilla catching. I spent the better part of the 1980s, and a small Brinks truck full of quarters, trying to catch one gorilla. Every time I got close, he climbed up another level and threw more barrels at me.

Regretfully,
Zeb

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i279/88tg88/xm307.jpg
problem solved

I have a problem with this thread. We have no plan on gorilla utilization nor a plan that deals with two if we use the girl gorilla strategy.

Three words about gorilla catching.

Barrel O Monkeys

ROFL

Thread closed.

Well that may be true, Mr. Simplex3. But, I'm pretty sure that Mr. Rain Man's suggestion will have something to do with asking the gorilla about 500 questions about whether he'd like to live on spider island, how to populate the all injury NFL team, or which icecream makes the best brake fluid.

Personally, I don't see how that's going to lead to a gorilla capture.

FAX

Oh great, now I'm gonna have that music running through my head the rest of the night.

I, too, spent far too much time and money chasing that gorilla......^.......^.......^.......dammit!

Also, remember this adage...."The way to a gorilla's heart is through his stomach".

You've been to the mall when those a**hole marketing people are there, right? So basically here's how it works:

1. You approach monkey, clipboard in hand, bored-off-your-ass expression on your face.

2. You ask him if you can have a minute of his time in the most monotone voice you can muster, preferably never looking above his knees.

3. When he mumbles about how he's busy, plead that if he doesn't help your manager will fire you.

4. When you get him in the little room, in the most uncomfortable chair ever designed by a human being, you bore him to death with reeruned questions.

It's by far the simplest plan we have going.

Huh. I usually just go through the rib cage, Mortal Kombat style. :shrug:

"Elmotality"?

Just wait until the day I unleash my army of Tickle-Me Elmo assassins. And here you rubes thought those were just highly annoying children's toys.

Maybe we just send Mr. frazod up the friggin' tree after him if he doesn't come down all peaceful like.

FAX

Then we'd need a thread on how to dress a hostile gorilla as a refrigerator, wouldn't we?

Or am I confusing frazod with another Planeteer?