Alright, how many times do you contact her?

LOL, i knew that....

Geez, Mr. GoChiefs. These Planeteers are right. You need some advice. That's the first Bobby Bell pick up approach I've ever seen. No wonder it didn't work. Football players like Bobby Bell don't exactly scream "romance". You should have gone with Buck Buchanan.

FAX

A woman who won't talk is a priceless treasure. Almost as good as one who can't talk.

Of all the boxes the fair sex possesses
There is but one that always distresses
If I had my choice
I'd remove the voice
But keep the ones under the dresses

FAX

is the bobby bell pick up approach similar to the chewbacca defense?

good form....

I'm not really trying to pick her up. She already knows I want to go out. She's just feeling me out. Hopefully it leads to me feeling her up. In a month. LOL.

I don't know what you mean. We've chatted four times.

Seriously man....I'd end it with the shy chick. If you go back and look at all of your conversations with her.....you talk 80% of the time and all of her responses are just 5 or 6 words agreeing with what you're talking about. She isn't asking questions about you...or talking about herself. Move on to the 18 year old redhead. You need to be able to fully concentrate on one girl. You don't have the skills to work with 2-3 different girls at a time.

Just show her the Light sabre and be done with it.

It's the internet! It's not a big deal. And I like Ms. Shy. We enjoy talking. I'm not going to throw it away for no reason.

You need to watch The 40 Year Old Virgin.... go out and slay you some of those hood rats before you try dating someone you might actually like.

He should have screamed "OMG, YOU ATE BETTY!"

I had a buddy do that. Condom broke. Hello kid with lady you don't like

are you sure you mean "we"?

I'm quite positive. She didn't message me out of the blue the other night so I could talk to myself. The girl is obviously lonely and enjoys my e-companionship.

Next time you chat, try to talk about her as much as posssible. Don't offer any information about yourself unless she asks. See how that one goes, or if it's nearly as long. I used to talk to a guy who would message me back every two minutes. I would cut myself to only typing one or two comments between his responses.

That's really all we've been talking about save last night. I haven't talked about myself much at all.

Yep - see if she initiates it beyond "hey, what's up?" and see if she can drive the conversation. Also note how long it takes her to respond. If the conversation lags while you wait for her to respond then she's just not that interested. You can turn on timestamps to keep track of this.

Good advice there...

She doesn't seem like the type based on what I already know about her, but I'll let her twist in the wind I guess. Seems like an asshole thing to do, though.

Chicks dig assholes.

Really, both interest and conversation should be reciprocal so let her lead.

Not this one.

WOW, someone else who has no life :D

Nice guys finish last, don't act like she's your everything by kissing her ass or being super nice until you officially have her...

Girls don't dig super nice guys they use them as door mats

:clap::clap:

That's probably okay as a general rule but I think I've done pretty well for myself in that department and I've always treated women with a great deal of respect and been incredibly nice. So I don't know if I'm an exception to the rule or I've just dated the exceptions. Of course I'm speaking entirely in terms of dating - my first marriage was another story altogether.

That's not really the vibe I'm getting from this one. She doesn't even use foul language.

It doesn't mean you have to blow her off or intentionally take 3 minutes between messages.... but, there's a fine line between 'taking it slow' and 'I wouldn't want to lose you as a friend'. And by 'I wouldn't want to lose you as a friend', she means 'I wasn't ever really interested' or 'you missed your chance'.

Like others have said, if you're available all the time and are carrying the conversation, how do you know if she's interested, or just bored and doesn't want to be rude?

You don't have to be someone you're not or play elaborate games... just don't be the puppy that is jumping up and down in the doorway when she comes home everyday.

I don't even talk to her everyday. She was sitting there online for like three days in a row and I purposefully ignored her because I was told to in this wonderful thread. Then she messaged me the next day.

Cool. :thumb:

I learned the "girls like it if you're a little bit of an asshole" far too late in life, so I give my two cents to any 'nice guy' looking for advice.

Yes and no. It's a fine line. You want to show interest, but not seem desparate. You want to appear to have a life, but don't be too busy to meet her. Etc, etc, etc....

I'm one who falls for charmers. Maybe that's where my problem lies.

See I agree with this. I suppose dating is different than it was in my day, but I did pretty well with the nice guy approach. I even used the shy, nice guy approach a lot and it really worked well. Maybe the ladies have evolved away from that.

I'm not saying be a complete dickbag.. just don't be the nicest guy in the world willing to do anything and everything at any time ie. a pushover. Have your own life, make decisions, don't always drop whatever you're doing, etc. I'm not saying you need to be rude, but as bearcat said you can't be that puppy waiting for her to get home.

Not really, I found that they like cocky as hell nice guys. Confident, but still pays compliments

read #2596. I'm a nice guy and I like to use the whole cocky/funny routine. I'm very confident and I'm a very nice guy. I just don't let anyone push me around or use me. I'm not a pushover - and that's the main reason for the 'nice guys finish last' deal. Many nice guys get pushed around and taken advantage of.

Maybe you can explain why nice girls always wind up with assholes.

Maybe it's low self-esteem? I'm not going to pretend to understand how all women think - you all are crazy.

Never forget that most, if not all, men are very simple, basic creatures.

Hang on. I'll ask the wife.

4 times cool, I'd try to get her number so yo can have recognition in who you are, and you can get a better feel for her.

To elaborate on what DaKCMan said -- and I'm not going to pretend to know how you all think, either -- but from talking to friends who have dated assholes (they get the benefits and I get to listen to their problems :banghead: ), I think some of it has to do with the fear that they can't do any better. I've had a couple of pretty attractive friends actually ask "do you really think I could do better?" or "do you think I could find someone else?".... so yeah, I think low self esteem has a lot to do with it.


LMAO

Just had this discussion with some mature (over-40) men at a cigar smoke Sunday night.

IMO, that's exactly what it is.

And when you're not attractive? Self-esteem aside.

I think I'll wait until we actually go out, if we even DO, to get her freaking number. I'm not going to drop minutes on the girl if she ain't puttin' out. ESPECIALLY if she can't hold a conversation.

By the way, she already admitted to me she has low self esteem. The last thing I want to do is be a dick to her.

Is that what they're calling it these days? It's OK if you're a pervert, sib, we don't judge.

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...01/men_old.jpg

There's a low probability of her meeting you if she doesn't talk to you first. Trying to get digits and talking on the phone is actually a good idea.

Maybe AFTER we go out, or right before to set things up. I don't think it's a good idea right now because she's having trouble talking to me ONLINE. I don't want to sit there eating dead air on the phone for minutes at a time. That would be excruciating.

If you don't feel ready that's one thing, but don't expect her to go out with you without talking on the phone first. Chicks are like that.

Yeah, I'm not dumb. Even I wouldn't meet someone in RL without phoning first.

Either way, I think a lot of it has to do with self esteem. The reason I included that was because, as someone with a face made for radio, it was incredibly surprising to hear someone ask that kind of question who could walk into a bar/nightclub/Mensa meeting and leave with a guy of their choice (and frankly, a little annoying ;) ).

Other reasons? I wouldn't have a clue... my freshman roommate's girlfriend had lived on a farm all her life and was incredibly naive. It was the only reason I could come up with as to why she stayed with the douche. She did all of his laundry, cleaned, cooked, etc... and he was still a douche. She just didn't know any better.

I'm in the group that's saying "just don't be a doormat," which to a 'nice guy' means "be a little bit of an asshole". Low self esteem is the only reason I can come up with as to why anyone would stay with someone that's an asshole to the point of being abusive (physically or otherwise).

hey, it's easier to smoothe her over that way, and it's quicker to get to the primary goal of meeting. Plus that you can hear her inflection to see what her intent is.

Some girls are old fashioned in that they don't mind doing stuff like that. I used to throw his laundry in with mine, especially when I needed to make a load. I guess it's just the luck of the draw if you're gonna get someone who won't take advantage of that.

Yeah, inflection in the voice can be very telling.

Guys will let you do that without you doing their laundry. Sheesh.

You just need to find someone in the same place in his life as you. Your last asshole wasn't there. Guys out there just looking to get laid aren't in the same place as you either. I get the feeling you're looking for something long term and stable. If you search on-line, I would make that very clear from the get go. That will help weed out the assholes. The right guy IS out there. I promise.

You know how many chicks I've met and banged that I met off the internet that I didn't talk to on the phone? Just about all of them. But then again, I'm lazy. If a girl is going to waste my time wanting to talk on the phone for hours on end, I'll probably just give up and move to the next one unless she's really hot.

Where do you find these fine e-honeys? I want details. You could be an invaluable resource in my quest for pussy.

How on earth can you like someone you're talking to, but still be hunting for some floozy to bang? Maybe it's the chick in me, but I don't think you have to sacrifice your standards for your first time. And the last thing this world needs is another player.

I think that's more like a lemon party.

Like I said, I'm keeping her on the back burner. She's a nice gal. In the meantime, I can practice on floozies for when I actually get to bang the nice gal - in five years.

The back-to-back posts by bogey and BWillie make for a good summary of this thread. It's all over the place, just like Claythan.

In related news, I think I got a 38-year old MILF all hot and bothered. I have a good feeling about this. I'll probably just end up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys ripped out, but whateva. I'm Indiana ****ing Jones.

LMAO

At least you're having fun with your new Planet schtick.

Please don't tell me you just compared GoChiefs to a player.

It's not shtick. I gotta go take a picture of my dick for the lady.

:spock:

Riiiiiiiiiiight

No. I'm hoping he doesn't go that route.

I'll never be a player. Maybe a swinger.

LMAO

As far as online goes, myspace and facebook used to be good like 3 years ago when I was in college. I'd just be like " you look really familiar, were you in my Biology class". It would work alot of times, but those don't work at all anymore because now everybody has them, and they aren't as big of a place to meet people.

I've found the best way to sell my ding dong lately is craigslist. I just started using it and prefer it over plentyoffish because it's less work. Whatever you do, do not reply to the women looking for men posts because they are all spam posts/bots. Instead, create an add for yourself and put it up. Put one with pictures and display confidence in this add, and then put one without pictures and indicate that you are vulnerable, always get your heart broken, always give too much,..I don't know some girly bs. Both ads should each go after a certain niche of the female population which will add to your pool of potential mates.

I also use plentyoffish, hotornot, and datehookup. I mainly use online because it allows me to direct market my ding dong to a broad spectrum of broads and I can do it while I'm working and bored. But nothing is better than going to the library on a Sunday or going to a park with a dog while playing fetch. Why don't you try the real life approach? It's more fun anyway

You laugh, but it's true. To be frank, I already sent her one, but...


EDIT - on second thought, I'll PM that excerpt.

Because that's what most of them want until they are about 30 something.

OK. I got the teenager's IM. I'm balancing an 18 year old on one hand and a 38-year old on the other. This is so hot. Maybe they're mother/daughter?

These are the conversations you should be posting. Not that bore fest with the shy girl.

So guys get used to be assholes, and it carries on into later life.

This place is turning into Penthouse forums...

Well, not necessarily. Some nice guys that got walked all over when they were younger turn into assholes later on in life because of it.

Is that what happened to you? :p