LMAO

You're looking at it wrong.

Stop going into it with the expectation of laying pipe.

Going out with a girl, having conversation, learning the ropes of the flow of a date is good experience. It was worth more than her lunch for that experience alone. Build on that.

You also need to know your spot in the food chain. Mid 20's virgins who live at home aren't exactly going to be pulling a Halle Berry look alike.

Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.

I love Jesus and he wants me to have as much sex as is physically capable. Which bible are you reading anyway?

I'm gonna start reading yours

I'm guessing the fat girl is whining to her online friends right now.... "After the dork showed up he started undressing me with his eyes and then when I saw all that loose skin I got a little grossed out and couldn't think of anything to say because I kept staring as miles of skin tucked into his shorts like a bathrobe. He kept asking if he could pee in my butt or if I would show him my "Arbies". I wish he'd have taken me to Papadeaux at least - I'd have gotten two Shrimp Brochette and then maybe it would have been worth it. He definitely misrepresented himself. I'll bet he molests his dog."

ROFL

I think Luv has ben the starter of the most five-digit read threads EVAR!!!!

I was getting ready to post a play by play of a conversation she was likely having with her friends.

here's an excerpt

" an like omg, i realeyezed that his undershirt was actually an incredible hulk pajama top"

:spock:

You keep up the good fight Clayton. It will happen eventually. Just dont be to picky or you could be waiting a long time. lol

If it wasn't past my bedtime, I'd lay into that little comment.

LMAO That is ****ing hilarious.

Thats the spirit. Begin the relationship by a quick AIM "good night bubba" and crack the shell of this fascade of no romance between you two.

Its destiny.

Exactly. If you were really just looking for someone to **** in order to get your first time out of the way, then you could have easily done that by now. Just get on and say what you're looking for.

I think that you are looking for more than just sex, and you're playing up this whole thing to make it seem like it's something trivial to you.

Dude, whatever it is you're looking for, JUST BE HONEST. If not with us, I hope you are with whomever you're chatting it up with.

Why do people keep saying that? I'm not the slut everyone thinks I am, and I'm not looking to bust someone's man-cherry just for kicks.

I thought it was past your bedtime?

LMAO

It is. I meant that more for the effect of saying I'm too tired to put forth the effort. Insomnia. I'm forcing myself back into bed at midnight though.

That's 12 minutes to lay it on Claythan!

At least he admittedly has no job and can't afford to be on his own. My ex was trying to skate by the whole time with lies of hardships and no one believing in him.

Words of wisdom before heading to bed....

Just be honest, or at least appear to be.

Seriously though, Claythan - lets all be honest here. You're nearly 27 and never kissed a female of this species. You're nobody's prize. If a gal you buy lunch orders the large nacho appetizer and a Big Tex steak you should just be grateful for the company. It's not your fault, dude. It's the fault of your parents. They should have dated themselves prior to the age of 35. Can you imagine your father driving around your mother's block for months at a time in his mother's 1970 Monte Carlo before it finally broke down and had to talk to her? Then they fell into a passionate embrace when the realized they were made for one another.

Maybe you could take some pointers from Pops.

Get to bed already. This place will still be here i promise.

Besides you need your beauty sleep.

She's ****ing 18. No.

We shall watch. And pray.

http://blog.syracuse.com/houselights/medium_arthur.jpg

ROFL

Oooh ooh ooh! I just added a bitch from my old high school on facebook who came after me! Maybe she wants some of this man ass!

Ooop, she's engaged. Whore.

Par for the course.

She's engaged and that somehow makes a difference for you when you were chasing a married woman last week. Okay. I get it.

If she's engaged it means there's still a chance.

She's only engaged because you saw her on Facebook...

This is awesome.

I don't think you're a turbo-slut.

I just think its destiny that you see the wounded Dove called claythan, and at some point, his hymen will be bleeding on the seat of your amc pacer.

ROFL

How do you come up with this stuff? ROFL

Its a gift, not unlike the wrapped moment of consentual marital act claythan is keeping for his one true luv.

There are forces beyond our knowledge bringing you two together...hell it was Luv's thread and now it's Claythan's, might as well merge as one...

That only proves that he is a thread thief.

LMAO ROFL you slay me...Iowanian

Claythan could be your slumpbuster....


just sayin'.

I've already supported one person with problems holding a decent job. I think I should get that one paid for before finding someone else to support.

luv is looking for a relationship, not a **** buddy. And it's clear we're not attracted to each other. Attraction is not a choice.

I still remember this term from some fatass in high school that would brag about getting ass all the time... "pussy has no face"

Claythan.....You can't handle that of which you seek.

As for your faux-fueding....I've seen in hundreds of times. You argue with a girl when you get to a party, at 1am, she rolls over to your sector to see "why you think I'm a ...." and 10 minutes later.

You guessed it.

Gobble the weiner.

Any girl who is down with a F buddy, would eat you alive. You're not a beginner, let alone pRon star enough to pull that off, unless you cross the boarder, and give the nice senorita with the quarter sized wart on her chin 20,000 pesos for 20 minutes in a fruit cart in an ally.

Donger and teh comatard are the closest 2nd to sure lust

No offense, Iowanian, but I don't really give a shit about what you have to say.

**** buddies are overrated. Physical pleasure is nice, but not as important as emotional pleasure. I'd much rather feel needed physically and emotionally.

I do agree. Attraction is not a choice. What I hate is when people have predefined what they think they're attracted to.

I think you need to just start at the bottom and work your way up. It will suck at first, but you will get the experience and soon be able to work you way up. You may not get to the top, but even if you get to the middle it will seem a lot better than where you started.

No offense, claythan, but your way isn't working out that well.

You don't care for advice, but you think some gal IMs you once and she's automatically up for Anal. You don't know why you can't get laid with $400 worth of twinkeys at a Jenny Craig rally, but you dismiss the one woman who DID give you a shot as a tater hog, unworthy of your time. You can die a virgin as far as I'm concerned. Its probably your contribution to earth...not reproducing. You are sparing some cockasaur the gift of laughter though. You're a slump buster for some broken hearted woman, so you need to target some fatties and hood rats first, or maybe just go right for the graduating special ed class.

You've been ignoring A LOT of good advice for years. You're capable of scoring a lady friend, but you're not exactly bringing significant things to the table for the woman either. Got a job? Place of your own? reliable transportation? People skills? Able to locate a labia on your own without a staple to mark the middle?


Even slayer, who was 14 when you had a beard-off is probably slaying vaginas.

See, you don't even understand what's going on. That's why your contributions to this thread are worthless.

You said very bluntly that she was "too fat" and lied. Anyone could tell from the photos that this girl wasn't a bikini model, but guess what, outside of pRon-date-life....most of them aren't.

Real women aren't perfect. Neither are you.

Figure out your league, and get your team in the game.

You're right though, guys like me who have dated significant numbers of women for 2 decades, found and married good women couldn't have any advice to offer a real night-at-the-roxberry pipelayer like you.

keep nodding your head.

lol...attraction is not a choice.

It's as simple as that.

I'm sure she had a good laugh with her BFFs about her lunch too, Eric Estrada.

Simple as that.


I"m on your team, but you make it tough sometimes.

So, were you not attracted to her because she was overweight, or simply because you weren't attracted to her. If it's because she was fat, then it was a choice. Attraction not being a choice is when you can only say you weren't attracted to them simply because you weren't. Size, age, etc shouldn't matter.

Try having a couple of beers and that attraction thing will be a lot easier to come by.

I'm sure it was cause she was cartman like....

Bullshit.

I'd recommend beer goggles too, but can you imagine what a raging dumbass gc would be when drunk? It wouldn't be be pretty.


Maybe you need a mail order china woman. A guy we call "the bedroom bandit" or liesure suit larry....he's got one, and she thinks he's the coolest man alive...rubs his feet every night and whatnot.

I'm a happy drunk.

And you're a bitter little asshole. Touch a nerve, did I?

This is USDA Prime stuff.

Any girl above a size 3 is not your type. I've been attracted to men of all sizes. I tend to like thinner guys, which makes it very difficult for me to find a date, seeing as most thin guys are as shallow as yourself. But I don't exclusively dismiss people for being chunky.

Who will likely engage in marital relations tonight, maybe tomorrow.


"happy drunk" and obnoxious, bumbling bafoonary are sometimes first cousins.

You're the clam hammer....the womb wrecker, the pelvis punisher, the g-spot gestapo, the muffassa of Muff...the grandpa walton of vagina mountain.

What would I know...

touch a nerve did I? which of us is getting pissy? (thats definitely pissy with an I...)

Women get initially attracted by personality etc, alot of goofy looking ****s get great looking girls, most guys go off looks initially and if the personality is awesome it goes further like dating etc...

IMO: I'd say a girl has to take care of herself and have that sex appeal...some just don't cut it....fat or skinny

If you could, you would. :p

LMAO

No. I'm not some shallow asshole.

Hypocrite.

Fat guys can pull that off claythan.....Ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in their bank accounts.

Your Yoda cupholders at mom's isn't.


It isn't uncommon to see couples who resemble the number 10 in profile....I'm thinking there are logistical reasons for the man to be shaped like the number 1. Keep on dieting claythan.

I think we've pissed luv off.

You should probably not try to, as see....she's actually prooven herself capable of playing skin legos.


The fact is, the beautiful people know their class, the 70% of us in the middle know our role, and the bottom feeders breed like rabbits, semi functional rabbits who might be first cousins in some cases, but I digress.

Who are you to define what does or does not qualify as a parameter of attraction?

attractive: pleasing to the eye or mind especially through beauty or charm

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...e%3A+attractiv


Overweight girls are not pleasing to my eye or my mind. I am not 'attracted' to them. I also am not 'attracted' to certain personality traits. If I get with any chick who looks hot, then I agree that would be shallow. However, not pursuing someone I'm not attracted to does not make me shallow.

Finding someone not attractive has nothing to do with being shallow, there are people you are just not physically attracted to at all, that's life.

A woman will say a man doing that to them is being an asshole but a woman will judge a man based on the size of his wallet and think that's fine.

No, I'm just annoyed that I haven't learned to never be amazed at the lack of tact or maturity men show. I guess I'm under some grand dillusion that they'll grow out of it. I'm finding out they don't.

Agreed, ive dated some hot chicks that are really stupid, annoying etc...that turns me off...yet they were still fun to "hang" with....GF material is a diff story

Not being attracted to all shapes and sizes = immature.

Ok. :rolleyes:

What's wrong with a guy not liking a heavy person? The attraction isn't there for most of us, just like some chicks don't dig thin guys and only ripped guys etc...how does that make the person immature if they aren't attracted to a 200lb chick?

Seeing as how I'm griping about being fat, you must be poor. We can both change our disposition, though. I did. Last year. Found out that although I felt better and looked better, people still saw me as fat.

Wat??

Exactly. LMAO

Me too. BIG time. Pun intended. There are definitely a lot more girls I can't have sex with than girls I can, but that doesn't mean you can't have some of what you want. I agree with the consensus here GC, you need to work on your skills with anyone willing at this point. The time for picking and choosing will come later. I wouldn't even begin to try and explain the uncanny resemblance between the first girl I ever porked and a blue whale. Get in where you fit in. You can improve that area with experience. Get drunk if necessary, I promise girls will become more attractive to you. Just don't drink too much............

Okay. So I'm fat AND stupid. I'm just gonna stop trying.