A Porsche driving experience with Paul Walker.

I would trust hospice care administered by BadGirl, before I trust the Chiefs.

Jason Pierre-Paul teaching my kids how to light fireworks

Hydration advice from Korey Stringer.

I would trust a "redshirt" Star Trek character with a generic name to survive more than the Chiefs.

I would trust Sedated with my last bag of weed more than I trust the Chiefs to win.

I'd trust marital conflict resolution advice from OJ Simpson more than I trust Andy Reid and the Chiefs.

Mexican tap water

Lorena Bobbitt shaving my scrotum

I would trust sitting next to pee wee Herman at a XXX and not getting any pecker snot on me more than I trust the Chiefs.

https://media.giphy.com/media/PGwU07sFqGh0c/giphy.gif

The grapple line and harness at Kemper Arena.

An airplane ride with John Denver

A night out on the town with Biggie and Tupac

Bath time with Andrea Yates.

Top Ten Things I trust more than the Chiefs winning:

1. My Mom and Dad rising from the dead

2. The leaders of Iran, Russia, and North Korea

3. Winning the Powerball lottery next time it exceeds $100 million dollars

4. Having a menage-a-trois with Salma Hayek and Kate Upton within the next year

5. Obama will resign and Hillary will be arrested before the end of football season

6. General Electric will hire me to be their new CEO

7. The Pulitzer Prize will be awarded to me for my fantastic CP threads and posts

8. The next Silicon Valley dot-com billion dollar startup will be my company and idea

9. Being on next year's cover of People Magazine as Sexiest Man Alive

10. I become the hottest DILF in Porn Star history, named "Ho Lovin Scho"