That sounds wrong.

you're so dirty

Not me. I showered this week.

worthless without pics

worthless with pics too.

I don't think that's your decision :harumph:

I hold the camera, I hold the cards.

Where would I use a pickup line? The grocery store?

stupid rules

Sure.

Seriously, I'm supposed to walk up to a random girl in the canned goods aisle and whisper:

"I'll guarantee 2 screaming orgasms tonight, and if you work as hard as I do, you can have one too."

Sounds like a good way to get slapped.

Here you go...

http://pro.corbis.com/images/CRBR005...7E2D2023660%7D

Just pretend he's white and not bald.

This should keep me occupied for at least 15 minutes.

Thats why its funny watching you prance around the board with your new-found can'tbeatgrandpaatarmwrestlin' pipes, trying to swing the pussy axe like a Gladiator, making fun of the way girls look on the internet.

You need to practice with the endless piles of usable wooden sparring swords you've been offered over the years before trying to swing my battle axe.


Is that in "dork enough" wording to sink into some he-man cartoon logic of understanding for you?


Like a good joke, the timing and delivery of the punch line are KEY to it working.

You, ah, might have wanted to think harder about that one before you posted it.

Well sure, in canned goods!

Thats a meat department kind of line.

Produce. Massage a cantaloupe while you do it. Don't forget to lick your lips suggestively. And then your chin and eyebrows if you're able.

You folks are disgusting.

It's because we have had great sex.

"Great" is a big word.

Whatever big girls you tried, none of them can top the 6'5" 360 lb whale I bench pressed every night.

I didn't mean that in a physical sense, lmao.

Although I almost wish I would have.

I was referring to quality. LMAO

As for your behemoth, just remember, it could always have been worse.

keg... he had a little penis too.

You won the lottery.

Sounds like a giant version of me.

THAT WENT WELL!!!

SHE WAS CUTER THAN EXPECTED!

I ENJOY TITS!

Imagine what SHE is texting HER friends right now...


She got a kick out of your tits too.?

Good tits rock! But hard nipples really rock :) My teeth are clicking just thinking about it

Yeah they got pretty hard. She liked them pinched. REAL HARD.

Just wait until you get under the shirt.

Here's what will really blow your mind.

I unsnapped that bra, first try, like a PRO.

Biggity BAM!

The internet has taught me well.

I can't do that after 20 years of practice.

I had trouble with it 5 minutes ago.

You won't believe what else my fingers found with impeccable accuracy on the first attempt.

So did you get any or not?

That is not a joystick or playstation controller. Be nice.

I got everything but sex.

She had to bail...I took too long picking her up.

Well the next step is easy and if you hit the doorbell right you should have been invited in.

No obligatory 'pics or stfu'. This place is slipping.

My first guess would be a penis.

Sorry Keg.

Also, she was 5-foot-1, and 99 pounds. Frickin' AWESOME! I definitely dig small girls.

You would've dug the 4'9 girl I knew in college. She was asian, though.

Anal?

Wash before you eat your Cheetos.

With big boobs?

Which chick was this? I'm losing track of everyone you post about.

If A cup is big.

At 5'1? Anything above a C is too much, or fake.

Totally agree. Proportion is good.

A gal that small should be a B or smaller.

Did you get your knob polished, brah, or just gave her the internal come hither motion?

She got hers and you didn't get yours?

Anyway.. congrats on this first step.

That looks like my kind of afternoon delight. A nap.

They were small, but very, very nice. A solid handful. I never thought I would be so pleased with something under a C.

Both.

http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/9263/rambo33on7.gif

Been trying to tell you people, but noooooo, it's always got to be huge tits.

A solid handful?

Well, congratulations.

Yes ma'am. Think Natalie Portman.

Don't congratulate me just yet. The gun hasn't gone off.

She masturbated you and you didn't achieve orgasm?

ROFL

Such a frank post, Donger.

Every experience will open your eyes more and more to the delightful array of choices there are in the world.

In a year you'll be lusting after fat black girls.

Sorry, but that seems a little odd, don't you think?

Who wouldn't go for this?

http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/attachm...226BIpmJ3G.jpg

That's disturbing.

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/8549/avatar1499.gif

http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/1752/kenparksuicide.gif

That gunshot gif is the most hilarious thing ever.

No, it was only about 5 minutes. She had to go. Plus, I had a drink or two. And I cleaned the pipes 3 hours before.

Now presented in smaller, cropped version for planet convenience.

Uh huh.

Ah. Well, I'm happy for you anyway. At least you managed to gain erection.

A likely story eh?

**** off, Keg.

And all you have to do to a bra is twist it, it's not like it's rocket science.

I know. If you can't get a bra off you're a lamer.

**** you both.

Target acquired, GoChiefs. Fire for effect, soldier!

Katipan never leaves her man with a jammed round.

I'm not up for a MMF 3way....so leave him out and I'm game.

Well played my friend.

Are you the type that drops the shoulder straps, twists the whole unit around, and then unhooks it from the front?

Just please tell me she didn't look like that bitch slag posted.

A small chick. I seem to get alot of those the 5'1 to 5'4 range. Especially when I am a foot taller than all of them.

Well we were trying to make Slag feel better with the prelude "HAI GUYS" girl and the elephant bride.