My in-laws have done several things to my wife and I but two things stand out.

The first is when we got married. My wife and I lived together for about 1 1/2 years before we got married. Her parents never said much about it other than the occasional living in sin jabs. The time came to plan the wedding and my mother in law threw a FREAKING fit because we weren't getting married in her church, a Catholic church. My wife didn't want to get married in it and since I am a Protestant, I was all for not getting married in a Catholic church. About 2 weeks before the wedding and reception, the in laws announce that since we weren't getting married in their church, they weren't going to pay for anything including the reception. Fortunately I had already planned on it and save enough away for everything. I was a volunteer fireman and we had a great reception at the fire hall. That was over 14 years ago and I still get mad about that one.

The second one was when my wife's grandfather died. My wife has two sisters and her parents split up the sale of his house three ways, each girl getting an equal third. We decided to buy it to keep it in the family about a year later after it sat vacant and the two sisters didn't do dick with it. We paid off the sisters their 1/3 share each. We lived there for several years and I did several remodels to it. When we sold it, it was worth more then we bought it. My father in law wanted the other 2 daughters to get their share of the profit. They did nothing, absolutely nothing to earn one red cent. My wife and I fought about it for weeks. She insisted we pay them to keep the peace. I've regretted it ever since.

I no longer trust my in laws and only smile to be nice for my wife and children's sake. Fortuantely we live 12 hours away from them so I only have to see them about twice a year.

The first one doesn't seem so bad to me, but the second one is pretty messed up.

The first one is messed up if you knew them. I didn't mind that they wouldn't pay, I was mad that they brought it up 2 weeks before the ceremony. If they had gotten their way, I would have had to convert to that religion and act just like she wants, no way.

Hmmm... that's similar to my MnL... To top off the email she sent me... here's what pisses me off and keep me at a distance with her...

Year 2000: gf/fiance and I just graduated from college and we're living in West lafayette, IN while she pursues her grad degree @ Purdue (They paid her to attend).

So we have no bills or whatever, so I'm pissed my gf/fiance is taking out a student loan. FOR WHAT?!? Come to find out... this b!@tch had her daughter take out a student loan so she can catch up on her house payments, etc. (that's the story my wife tells me) and help her sister out.

Now mind you, we've JUST graduated from college and are dirt poor (with child). So you'd think mother would pay back the $8500 loan right? You already know the ending to that story.

Second thing she did was something recently, My wife had a '95 VW Jetta that was paid for. MnL convinces wife to sell it to her brother and his dad and MnL will both pay $600. Think we ever saw any part of that $600?

I'll never trust that woman as long as I live. Wife finally has gotten to see her for what she is. It takes a while to realize it but family will screw you over more than friends.

Yeah, not knowing the details, I'm certainly in no position to judge anyone involved. It doesn't surprise me that as Catholics they wanted their daughter to get married in the church and raise her kids Catholic. It's a part of their religion and to do otherwise is a rejection of that religion. I don't blame them for not wanting to pay for what amounts to a non-marriage in the eyes of their Church, but of course some ways of dealing with that are better than others. Based on your reaction, I'd say they didn't find the best way.

I'm sure my parents were disappointed that my wife and I weren't married in a Catholic Church, but they attended and wished us well anyway. Years later, when my wife decided to convert to Catholicism and we started going to church again for her and the kids (I'm not really a believer, but I think it's good for the kids to get started that way), we went through a Catholic marriage ceremony and my parents, especially my mother, were happy about it.