ROFL
Dang!

My gut tells me the girl is real...just flaky like most girls.

Just because you got skinny, does not mean you have guns..

Normally I agree.. But Gochiefs is not part of manhood..

You have how much history with women to have a gut feeling?? I have said it before, once you stop all these tales on here your life will get better..

Would you like me to post them? Because believe me, the gun show is in full force these days.

I have been on enough dates with women to know that they rarely run according to the clock...or even the plan.

Hell just from interacting with them online I can tell that.

While I'm not sure about chicks melting, the boy could wear a muscle shirt, and look pretty good. I've seen 'em.

Girls online are different IRL. Ask Rausch. I used to talk to him online a lot. He was my "online shrink"...lol. Met him in person for the bash last year. He told me that I was much less innocent and naive than I portray online. You may be able to read what people say, but you can't read how they're saying it.

You don't get what I'm saying at all. It has nothing to do with what girls say or how they say it.

Bitches always be running late or something.

flaky does not equal late all the time..

Trust me, you will know when you meet a flake..

Or something.

Being late all the time is just being female.

Flaky is when she shows up at your door for a booty call with her chihuahua and says he likes to watch. On the bed.

Ummm....no. Being late is not gender specific, either.

I agree, but that's a general enough comment for this thread. Women generally take much longer to get ready than men...

(That said, I'm late everywhere I go)

That's not flaky, that's freaky.

I see flaky as being unreliable...random...non-committal...

And it also oesn't take me long to get ready. There. We cancel each other out.

Well, that is also a fair definition of flaky.It doesn't take me any time to get ready, I usually have a hard time pulling myself out of a video game.

OK. She just e-mailed me. Let's rock and roll. I think I will check out the comic book store next door before I meet her hahahahaha. Oh the irony.

May the force be with you.

I can't imagine being late for something I'm excited for.

But then again, I don't play silly games. Nor do I portray something different than what I am. Works for me.

So how did it go did she show up?

Oh, we had some issues. She was definitely late. Apparently I missed her by 15 minutes.

It's still on. Next week.

I did check out the comic store, though. lol

I told you need some luck

Apparently her e-mails were delayed in getting to my phone...in fact I'm positive they were. I probably should have just stayed in one place and waited once I got there so it's partially my fault.

MMMMMMMMKAY...next time look for the teenagers filming you walking around the comic book store with a boner.

If she likes blowing as much as you say, she should've arrived BEFORE you.

I still dont believe GC has tacked any trim.

And I care...why?

you always care.

Not really dude. If you don't believe me that's your problem.

you are the biggest attention whore ever on the WWW. Why would it be my problem?

Just admit I was right. ;)

At least this one didn't try to lose him in traffic.

Ah, ****. I really ****ed that one up.

OK. You guys deserve to hear the whole story. It is a tale of woe.

So I respond to this girl's craigslist ad. She wants to suck some dick. AWESOME! I show her a pic and she's down. We make plans to meet at her tanning salon sometime after 5. She doesn't know when she'll be there but wants to get a bed session in first, anyway. Cool, whatever.

So I get that shit clean for her and drive out there. I take a wrong turn but, amazingly, my previously undiscovered innate sense of direction kicks in and I find my way back through sheer force of will. I arrive at the tanning salon at 5:35 PM.

I ask the gay receptionist - and he is flaming - if there's a "Courtney" here. He says no, and I tell him I'm waiting for her. He doesn't mind so I pick up the latest "People." It has Michael Jackson on the cover and I enjoy it while I wait, and make small talk with gay receptionist.

About an hour passes and she's still not there. What a bunch of shit. I leave.

I'm about 10 minutes down the road when I get a text. Apparently she's running late and will be there soon. However, I'm halfway home, feel like I'm being played - possibly by a gay receptionist - and I'm in the middle of rush hour traffic. I don't feel like turning around, so I don't.

I get home, and I'm pissed. I post an ad on craigslist, telling everyone how I pissed I am, and are there any sluts who would like to suck me off? I do get one reply - the gay receptionist, who apparently trolls craigslist. He tells me that she did come in later, and she was really hot. He also laughs at my ad, and said he had no idea I was there just to hook up with someone. How amusing. He also hits on me a bit. bundle of sticks.

Later, I exchange a few e-mails with her. Apparently she feels bad for leaving me high and dry and texting so late. We make plans to meet the next day at 5. At her tanning salon. At 5. The time is set.

A day passes and I don't hear from her, so I don't go. That evening she texts me, saying she couldn't make it earlier anyway, so she didn't attempt to confirm that she would be there. She's babysitting and can't see me now, unfortunately. We make plans to meet at 5 the next day.

So, I leave a little early for some reason the next day. There's a comic book shop next door I want to check out, and I really don't want to go into the tanning salon anyway. I don't really want to face the gay receptionist. I mean, come on, the guy was hitting on me. Yeesh.

In the comic book shop, the owner tells me about their weekly RPG sessions. I'm very interested, and take his card. I also buy a graphic novel. I want to support this comic shop. It seems cool. Plus, if I start attending weekly, maybe I could meet this girl down here multiple times. I'm all about convenience.

So, 5:30 rolls around. I text her a couple times, no reply. God dammit. I decide to leave the comic book shop, because loitering is uncool, even if you're a customer. I go park in some shade and read my graphic novel (V for Vendetta) for another half hour.

I'm about to pull back onto the road, pissed off, and suddenly I get another text. She says I'm early. WTF? No I'm not. Where are you? Then she says she'll be there in five minutes. HALLELUJAH!

So I go back to the tanning salon parking lot. I still don't want to go inside the tanning salon. Gay receptionist is there, lurking, desiring my man meat. Yeesh. No thanks. But I park. She texts - where are you? I say, outside, in the parking lot. Then she says she's in a tanning bed.

Well, OK. I've been forced to confront gay receptionist. So I walk over there, yank open the door, and say, "is she here?"

"She left 15 minutes ago."

WTF!!!!

Then I get a text. She said she left, and figured I flaked. No, bitch, I was in the parking lot. At this point, it's pretty clear her e-mails were delayed in getting to my phone. Her text about the tanning bed (in a bed), was an obvious response to the text I sent at least 15 minutes earlier (where are you?), while I was parked in the shade somewhere else.

I text her and tell her I'm here now, come on back, but apparently she doesn't want to. She's at home. So, I go home, apologize to her on email, explain what happened. She sort of laughs and says we'll meet next week.

Today, she says she's changed her mind and doesn't want to do this anymore. She has been talking with her ex, they were almost engaged once, so, see you later. Dammit. Terrible.

A couple hours later, gay receptionist e-mails me. Great. He says she came in today and he asked her about "us," and she told him about her ex. I say, yes, sucks to be me. Then at some point he starts talking about how he texted her a picture of his huge wang (he's actually bi, but certainly leans more gay if you ask me), and now they're going to hook up for a meaningless blowjob once he gets off work. At the tanning salon.

And he just left a few minutes ago. So a gay man is now receiving the blowjob I was scheduled for. Because on one day, I couldn't turn around to go and get said blowjob, and on the second day, I didn't feel like being in the presence of a gay dude, which is understandable, but kind of a pussy thing to do when I GET CAN GET BLOWN FOR MY TROUBLE.

The moral of the story is...never meet at a tanning salon that employs gay receptionists. And if you absolutely have to, don't strike up conversations with them.

FAIL!

LMAO. That was a great story. I can definitely see that happening.

This ALL could have been avoided if the bitch had just given me her phone number. But no, she had to send e-mails from her phone.

Anyway, lesson learned. Next time, stay in one goddamn place and WAIT.

And ****, girls are flaky. BE SOMEWHERE WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL BE.

I donno.. she probably wouldn't have put out. Sounded like she was blowing smoke.

Dude SHE WAS THERE.

Can someone please invent a time machine?

Doesn't mean she would really put out. Chicks love to play mind games.

But then they would have to actually meet you.

So when are you and the receptionist going out?

You really have shit eating luck. I mean, ****.

You make your own luck. I pussied out.

Good point. I agree wholeheartedly. So why do you keep creating this luck? This is like the 3rd time. I guess my thought is, either you enjoy it or you don't. I'm really getting the impression that you don't. If that's the case, why bother?

I definitely enjoy it. I just lack the drive to seize the moment.

Of course if she had just CALLED me...

I say don't post about every call/text/im/email you get from a chick. That way, when nothing materializes, you don't make yourself look like a loser on here. Either that, or make something good up. It's like a broken record.

That's a good question. Why didn't she? I've got a question. Why the **** aren't you in River Falls right now?

Oh no! I might look like a loser on Chiefsplanet! WHAT WOULD I EVER DO?

Yeah. I kinda figured that was the whole point.

One of the things that makes Clayton way more entertaining than most people will ever admit is his willingness to talk about real life, embarrassing shit. Most people spend their entire lives trying to pretend in social situations that those things don't happen to them. Clay is willing to open up about it, analyze it, and listen to others opinions about it in broad daylight. It's compelling, whether people are willing to admit it or not. Interactive reality TV.

Dude, seriously, .... you should have had your balls gargled 3x,by accident, by now. By accident, mind you. If using craigslist is your thing, then take charge of where, when and how. If you allow them to lead, they will. Hit a bar or club, and pin some cougars legs behind her ears and wail away.

Yeah, I could. I just don't like going out. I'm crippled. Sorry.

Are you seriously talking to me about opening up and sharing stuff on here? I mean, look at who you're talking to. There comes a point where it's redundant.

It's the Truman show!

"Was nothing real?"

"You...were real..."

That wasn't directed at you at all. It's one of the things I admire about you as well. I really am sorry if it came across like that.

You might be crippled, but it isn't physically.

DUH! :rolleyes:

Your'e right, that was funny.

Just sayin ...... you have no problems being an attention whore on BB's. You should be able to use a little bit of that in real life.

On the contrary. I can't attention whore in real life, so I do it on here.

A DRUNK AS **** girl who lives 20 minutes away just showed me her titties on cam and I'm STILL not getting laid tonight.

Christ.

But maybe that's a good sign for the future.

Oh god, pregnant girl is giving me attention.

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

PS - the drunk cam girl doesn't even REMEMBER showing me her tits. Hilarious.

Dude, the reason you couldn't CALL her is because it was the gay receptionist playing you the whole time. Funny he found you on craigslist so easy after meeting you, right? He texts you, checks you out, wants your wang, and makes his move.

Am I the only one that clearly sees this?

Dude, the IPs were completely different. There is no way he is that smart.

Have the mods check me sometime. I post from multiple IP's on here and I'm not trying to be covert in any way, shape or form. It's not hard to do.

Hmmmm...I wonder if I can "game" him and get him to spill the truth.

Play him back. See if the "girls" IP pops back up during your chats.

I have a home IP, work IP, my folks IP, and a mobile device IP that I can post from.

That is not shit luck, that is getting what you asked for..

Did Gochiefs ever actually talk to her on the phone or just texts??? That bitch was a dude..

You know, Occam's razor might be the wisest course of analysis here....you may have a point....

Although I still pussied out.

IP's show up on craigslist??

IPs show up in GMail.

In email or text??

Gmail is email...

I know and I have never seen IP from the people emailing me.. So I didn't know if you were using something else like talk feature when in gmail..

You access it via the drop down menu. Google it.

Horny preggos need love too.

Like yours and ROR's?

That is what I was thinking. How did he find you so easy did you give him some kind of info?

OK, she was definitely real.

He just e-mailed me a picture of them together.

God dammit.

THE GAY MAN STOLE MY PIECE OF ASS!!!!